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He et his balls bitten off
Women are a lot like fey--and God help the et back to that later
As for nohen Kate raises one eyebrow at esture towards the television "Jeter’s about to beat the all-tihs Pacified "Okay" Then she heads off to the kitchen
A few minutes later, she comes back with her arms full of beer bottles She hands one to Matthew
"Thanks, Kate"
And one to Steven "Thank you"
And one to me I take a sip And flinch "Ah, this is piss warm" I hand it back to her
"I just took it out of the refrigerator"
Withher back to the kitchen "You have to take thee That’s where the cold ones are…Coas I was talking about? The cues? While I atching TV, I hing After all the punishment he’s received from my sister over the years, he’s developed quite the sadistic streak when it co their asses handed to them
Then there’s Matthew God only knohat kind of sick and depraved penalties Delores has inflicted on that poor bastard, because he just looks scared
Kate, on the other hand, is staring at my hand like it’s a cockroach That she wants to squash And then she gets an idea--a wonderful, awful idea If you look hard enough, you can see the light bulb go on above her head She smiles and leaves the room
I missed all this the first ti an ice bucket filled with beer Nope, not beer bottles Just beer She stands next to the couch, and I--eyes still on the game--hold out my hand for my drink And she proceeds to take her bucket and du and choking "Jesus Christ!"
She asks h for you, honey?"
I wipe lare at her "Are you crazy!"
She glares right back "No--and I’h I would hope you’d show a littleto head down to McCarthy’s Bar and watch the gaets his jacket "I’ll co out the bottoht down"
Matthew laughs And pats me on the back "Sure you will, buddy Bye, Kate"
"Later, Kate"
She doesn’t answer the to kill me with her eyes
And with that, Matthew and Steven lower at each other
Ding-ding
Yep--that’s the bell Round one just got started
I begin cal with an adversary, it’s always better to stay levelheaded Choose your words carefully Be smart
And lethal
"What is this about?"
Apparently, Kate does not share my philosophy
"You tell me, Drew! Tell me why the hell Matthew and Steven can say please and thank you and all I get fro ain, I stay co ood beer and ruined ot my manners?"
"Why couldn’t you just say it?"
"Why couldn’t you just say, ‘Hey, Drew, a thank you would be nice’? Was it necessary to be such a god damn drama queen about it?"
She folds her arers "Tords, Kate: Chanel suit"
You reht her from Saks, after our first screw-fest?
Her eyes narrow "What about it?"
My eyebrows rise "What about it? You set it on fire"
Yep--she and Deloresin the dus "So? You were nothing to iven irls, is called provingelse"
She rolls her eyes "Whatever I didn’t throw beer on you just because you forgot to say thank you I’ht And if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…it’s a horse
She goes on "There are a lot of things that have been bothering me lately"
"Like what?"
I’m actually curious As far as I know, Kate and I have the perfect relationship And I--of course--am the perfect boyfriend
"Like how you never help me clean up in the kitchen Every ti and putting away!"
My voice beco I figure you want to organize the kitchen! I don’t want to mess up your syste totally honest, I’ve never seenspoon And Steven--the one time he tried to help The Bitch out with the laundry? She pissed and entle delicates, whatever the hell those are
"And you never complained about it before If you wanted my help, why didn’t you just ask me?"