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‘Jesse, open your eyes!’ I yell ‘Don’t you dare leave me! I’ll be crazy mad if you leave me!’

‘I can’t…’ His body jerks as his eyes close

‘Jesse!’

He opens again and his ar it flop back down to the floor I can’t stand the sound of hirab his phone and dial el start fro Every ti over and over and over, the sound of his track dulling down the sound of his raspy wheezes He’s staring blankly up at , but there’s nothing

‘Unbreakable’ heheavy until he loses the battle to keep them open

‘Jesse, please Open your eyes,’ I desperately try to part the to nothing

I’ hi, too

Chapter 33

I haven’t looked into those eyes for teeks It’s been the longest teeks of my life Any notions of desolation or misery that have come before this point inthe most i his peaceful face and feeling his war apparatus I can see him better now, all bearded and pasty, but he refuses to wake up, even though he surprised the on his own, albeit shallow and strained The blade sliced clean through his side, puncturing his sto matters He has two perfect mars on his perfect torso now, the new one a neat slice, rather than the jagged mess that she made of him the last time I’ve watched it be re-dressed daily and watched them drain the build-up of blood and nastiness from behind the wound I’m used to it already, the imperfection a horrid reminder of the worse day of my life, but now another part of him to love

I’ve not once left his bedside I’ve showered in seconds when my mum physically put me in there, but each time I’ve made her swear to scream if he stirs He hasn’t I’ve been told each day by the sa and he’s healthy, so he has the best chance, but I can’t see an improvement since they left hiing hi hi the feel ofIt hasn’t Each day, rowing larger Each time I take a split second to look down at myself, I’m reminded that my babies may never meet their father, and that is an injustice far too cruel to accept

‘Wake up’ I deain ‘You stubborn h my hazy vision ‘Why won’t he wake up, Mu aroundHe needs to heal’

‘It’s been too long I need him to wake up I miss him’ My shoulders start to shake and my head collapses onto the bed in hopelessness

‘Oh, Ava’ Myhelpless and useless, but I can’t make anyone else feel better when I’, you need to eat’ she says softly, encouraging ry’ I insist defiantly

‘I’ Jesse about each and every one of the as she presents et nowhere refusing this, but the silly notion that eating will please him is the only reason I open the box with one hand and start picking at the cherry to’ Mum’s voice is wary, but I’m past the contes, except grief ‘Can they come in?’

I selfishly want to refuse I want him all tothe news of a stabbing all over London News travels fast, even across Europe They arrived two days after Jesse was admitted, his mum and sister e on I could detect the regret in his blank face, which is scarily similar to Jesse’s I heard all of the explanations, but they didn’t really sink in In the endless, quiet ti to do but cry and think, I’ve drawn uilt for s that have happened in his life has pushed his parents away Theyfactor, with their pushy ways and deelse, too, I know his own stubbornness hat essentially caused this rift By distancing hiht it would ease the guilt--the guilt he should never have felt in the first place He didn’t give himself the chance to be surrounded by the people who love him and who could have helped him He waited for me to do that And thatlifeless and nonresponsive and even though it kills ht be facing noould prefer for him to be alive and well and not know him