Page 18 (1/2)

Okay, my dad wasn’t really a rich shit Well, kind of But I still loved him

The house went for three ot a house when he could have gotten an apartraphy lesson on why America is so well positioned from the rest of the world

"Before the invention of rockets and nuclear weapons that could fly long distances," he’d said, "it was very hard for any nation to attack this country We’re strategically positioned between two oceans with friendly allies to the north and south And let’s face it"--he lowered his voice to a whisper--"even if they weren’t friendly, we’re not really scared of Canada or Mexico anyway Everywhere else, you have possible enehtmare Enemies can invade at any time, or threaten your buffer states To attack A distance That’s why the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor They wouldn’t have had the fuel to get to the mainland So" He set the Shirley Te buffer of land aroundbefore they’re at my door"

By that point I knehat , I never hated him for it I hated that he made me stay withperiods when I didn’t see him, but he trustedwords and never held s and expected the best froave out their coood opinions rarely, they meant more My father was the only person on the planet whose respect and regard I cared about protecting

"So did you get what you want?" He strolled into the kitchen as I sat at the granite-top island working on my laptop

No "hi" or "how are you," but I was used to it I hadn’t seen him in a month, and he’d just arrived in town today

"Yes, I did," I replied, not looking up froerator

"And your lass out of the freezer and went to the Guinness tap

"Still AWOL But she’ll show up soon enough to contest the divorce, I’hi was on schedule He’d never been totally on board with ainst those who had betrayed me, but he’d let me make et caught in the cross fire," he pointed out

I wiggledwhat I had been writing "Of course"

"Madoc?" he pressed, and I let out a silent breath, aggravated that he was asking so h

"I changed my mind," I explained "I didn’t want him hit with this, after all"

"Good" He surprisedhis eyes "He was just a kid, too, I guess," he offered

I had returned to Shelburne Falls with the intention of releasing the e once I’d proved that I had er had h Instead of hu Madoc, his father, and my mother, I’d taken the path of least resistance

I didn’t want Madoc hurt, because he didn’t deserve it I had been hurt at sixteen when I’d stolen one of my dad’s cars and driven back to Shelburne Falls only to find Madoc with someone else But as adult as our actions were back then, ere only kids I couldn’t hate Madoc formistakes anycreated

Madoc never loved me, but I knew he never wanted to hurt ot what I wanted, but I did it quietly without any embarrassment to him or his dad

I lowered my hands to my lap and picked at my cuticles Nervous habit I knew my dad didn’t like it He and Mr Caruthers were alike in htened my voice "Ted should ravation "I told you not to involve yourself with that"

"He’s your uncle Which means he’s my family"

"That’s not--"

"When someone you love needs you," I interrupted, "you suck it up"

I sotten to know heragain, signaling that the conversation was over He stood there for several seconds, taking sips of his beer every so often and watching ers There were things I would never tell my father, no matter how much I loved him

He wouldn’t know that I’d lost five pounds in the past teeks or that I’d had dreaht that made me never want to wake up

I clenchednonsense just so I could look like I hadthat happens on the surface of the sea can alter the cal Andrew Harvey

But the depths weren’t calm A black hole had opened up in the center ofot blacker every day, andto ruin me, Fallon"

I punched the keys harder I had no idea what I riting for the summer course I’d picked up to keep busy

My father walked toward the doorway but stopped to look at"Do you feel better now?"

I sed the ache At least I tried to But I tipped my chin up anyway and looked at him head-on "I never expected to feel better I just wanted them to feel worse"

He stood there in silence for a moment and then walked out

• • •

A week later, I came out of the shower to see that I had missed calls fromto talk to one of the I should talk to the other but not wanting to Neither had left es, but Tate had texted after the call

Need a roommate at NW?

My eyes narrowed, but I smiled a little despite myself Without hesitation I called her back