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‘No’ He shakes his head adamantly
‘Yes,’ I counter,to shake ‘You sell yourself’
‘No, Livy’
In my peripheral vision, I see Crystal lower fro bastard of a husband who’ll have to suffice for this evening’
Miller swings violently towards her ‘You’ll keep this to yourself’
She sossip, Miller’
He scoffs and she laughs as she sashays out of the bar, taking the fur coat that’s held out by the cloakroom attendant on her way
Miller yanks a wallet from his pocket and throws a pile of notes onto the bar, and then takes ht hi I can’t even think clearly to co beneathanywhere I can feelwildly, but I don’t seem to be able to breathe My eyes are open, but all I can see is my mother
‘Livy?’
I look up at hiuish and tor this,’ Ias it’s not real, I don’t care Please let me wake up
His face screws up in defeat as he stops walking, bringing lass doors He looks totally beaten ‘Olivia, I wish I could say yes’
I’ainst his chest violently, but I don’t return his thing I’ home’ He tucks me into his side and leads me onto the street We walk so, me because I physically can’t and Miller because I know he doesn’t knohat to say I ht’ve been rendered useless by shock, butme relive memories that I’ve already spent too much time on recently My mother Me And now Miller
I’ht break I ht – if I’e so s, but where would I be then, apart from unaware and completely in the dark?
‘Would you likecautiously in his seat
I turnall of the eo?’ I ask
His eyes drop, he starts the engine, and I’ me to openit out, est time, and when he slowly pulls up outside Nan’s house, I open the door to get out without delay
‘Livy’ He sounds desperate as he seizesany further, but he says no more I’m not sure what he can say, and he clearly doesn’t either
‘What?’ I ask, hoping I’ to wake at any , safe in his bed away from the cold harshness of the reality that I’ve found myself in – a reality that is all too familiar
The silence is disturbed by Miller’s phone, and he stabs at the reject button on a curse, but it soon rings again ‘Fuck!’ he yells, tossing it onto the dashboard It stops and chiet that’ I pull rip ‘I expect they are all prepared to hand over their thousands for a night with London’s most notorious male escort You may as well make some extra cash while you fk a wonore his wince and leave hi allover the second prostitute I’ve been landed with in my short life Except this one accepted and coet over No, this one will be i me
Chapter 24
When dawn breaks, I’ of my bedroom It was a catch-22 situation – fall asleep and have nightmares, or stay awake and live them My decision was iven any respite andbombarded with flashbacks of his face I’m in no fit state to face the world Just as I feared, I’m further in solitary than I ever was before I met Miller Hart
Myit could be only one of two people, but going by the defeated look on Miller’s face last night, I’ory He’ll want the lon froht I feel no guilt as I reject his call and let the voicemail pick it up I can’t speak to anyone I fire him a quick text