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The sign for Pillar’s Bar ca That’s where I was the other night I’d gone there with Randy, right? Maybe I left er ’cause so and that we had to give her another one Except she’d already eaten most of the first one so I told her No, and then ht" or so, so I downed a Lortab before going to the bar, and after we got there I went out back and s so to piss me off, so I traded Terry a couple of joints for a couple of Percocet After that the ier

My et this job as a van driver because I deserved it I got it because I nearly overdosed and now so to teach me a lesson

Yeah, yeah, the value of life Just Say No Whatever

I didn’t really knohat had happened between going to the bar with Randy and ending up naked on the side of the highway, but I had a feeling it hadn’t been pretty Probably a good thing I don’t reri lot Another hour or so and it would start filling up with all the people who had shit lives and shit jobs--or no jobs--and anted to forget about all that before heading to whatever passed for home Still, even a couple of cars was toojust how ht I kept driving past and simply called the bar instead to see if anyone had seen my purse No one had turned it in, so either I hadn’t left it there or so up, annoyed, then called Randy I didn’t really want to go ho out there But Randy wasn’t picking up, and I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go

I need a life, I sighed

As I turned into reeted me--a few hundred beer cans that had been tossed into the driveway over the past several years and which now served as the paving material Dad used to ravel His truck was here--a piece of shit Ford that was more bondo than paint--but I didn’t see any fresh empties in the driveway

However, as I walked up to the house I did see ht in the middle of the porch steps

I picked it up, mystified I was certain it hadn’t been here earlier There was no way I could havethrough quickly, I saw that everything was still there--driver’s license, debit card, and even the thirty-three dollars in cash that I’d stuffed intoto the bar

"Ain’t that some shit," I murmured My address was on my license so there wasn’t much mystery of how it had ended up here I still didn’t knohere I’d ed to lose my purse, but at least it had been found by soht have made an effort to return the purse, but I would have totally taken the thirty-three dollars

I guess I was lucky there were people better than me in this world Not that it took a whole lot to accoaze around, on the off chance our closest neighbor was outside and had hway on adead end street that had less than a dozen houses along its pothole ridden length Most of the neighbors couldn’t be seen through the pines from our front porch, but the house across the street was in plain sight And excellent hearing distance too, to judge by the number of times they’d called the cops on us over the years Co from loudain, ive that much of a fuck who’d returnedroom It held a couch and a TV--both of which were alarettes I didn’t spend any tih that was probably more due to the fact that my dad spent most of his time there than because of the way it sh the open door to his bedroom, relieved to see that he was asleep Passed out, htstand and the bottle of Jack Daniels out in the kitchen I stood there for a few seconds toup and down and decided against going in and tugging the blanket over him More chance that he’d wake up froot along a lot better when he was like this

I turned away, headed to the kitchen, found a package of ht briefly about watching some TV while I ate,my dad up with either Instead I scarfed down the mac and cheese, dumped the bowl into the sink with the other dirty dishes and headed to the bathroom to take the epic shower I’d pro a few minutes of "epic-ness" thanks to our ancient water heater, but it was enough to getlanced at the clock It wasn’t even six PM yet, but I wanted to get to bed nice and early I sure as shit didn’t want to oversleep again I got down onfor the pill bottle wedged between the springs I pulled it out, pried the top off, shook a bunch of pills out into my hand There were six or seven different kinds, but I knew theh that I didn’t need the, since I didn’t have prescriptions for any of the the Vicodin out, I settled for a Xanax instead I only had the one Vicodin, and there was no sense wasting it when all I really wanted was so to sleep I returned the other pills back to the bottle, replaced it in its hiding spot, and washed the Xanax doith a beer frohts, I crawled under my blankets and waited for the lovely wave of relaxation to wash over me

Twenty minutes later I was still wide awake

By six-thirty I was forced to admit that whatever I’d taken must not have been Xanax