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"No, it’s pretty good"

"So I’ll be back in a few ue with his reasons for wanting me to stay behind It made sense

I waited in the cold cabin while Tolliver worked his way down the ice-slick stairs and began a slow progress across the front yard of our cabin and over to the Ha, and then I pulled a chair over to theand wrappedthe light held in Tolliver’s hand, while the other half was standing a little distance apart screa, "You just slept with Tolliver! You just slept with Tolliver!" in tones of ht Only time would tell if we’d just (literally) fucked up the best relationship we’d ever had - or if we’d opened the door to greater happiness

Even thinking that felt sappy But God, it ht all be okay I snapped out of this incoherent internal babbling to realize that Tolliver was having a hard ti to the door of the Hamilton house because of the tree branches

I opened the ith a lot of effort One-handed, it was a bitch

"You need

I felt Tolliver was restraining hi in the world he needed "No, thanks," he called back, onderful restraint Even hearing his voicedifferent about it, there was Some tension that had kept him taut and stretched had snapped I was as irl who’d had her first French kiss, and I made myself enter the here and now

The Ha, and I could see Ted Ha a hat, which looked ridiculous but actually was pretty sh your head He and Tolliver exchanged a feords, and then Tolliver beganhis way back over to our temporary home

I opened the door when he reached the top of the steps, and he propelled himself inside

"Oh, God, it’s cold out there," he said, and he made a beeline to the fire He piled on a couple more pieces of wood and stood there for a et it without actually singeing his mustache He closed his eyes with the bliss of the warmth

"Were they okay?"

"Yeah Mad Ted said a feords I think he’d been saving up since the Korean War I was glad I’m not a onna sue"

"Wonder if he’d have a chance in court"

Tolliver held out a hand, tipped it one way then another "I want to say that would be ridiculous, but you kno the justice system can be"

We fell silent, looked at each other

"Are you sorry?" he asked

"No You?"

"We should have done it a long ti I should leave you I didn’t know if that hat you wanted or not I finally decided to sink or swi I loved you so much that I shouldn’t keep you around ht you ht feel kind of sorry and responsible for me, which would be worse"

"As far as I’irl," he said "You get struck by lightning, and instead of wailing andfor disability, you discover a usable skill and figure out a way to ot the brains and the charisma to make it in your very own business"

"Charisma," I said scornfully

"You do, or hadn’t you noticed the way men like you?"

"Adolescent boys likeplus"

"Not just adolescents," Tolliver said "They just don’t kno to hide it"

"You’re saying I’net? Get real"

"Not in the sense that someone like, I don’t know, Shakira or Beyonce is You’re not a blond shake-your-booty kind of girl, but you’ve got your very own attraction, and believeas this man feels it," I said I looked up into his face

"Youthere for a minute," he said

I looked down and s bad about me already"

"I didn’t know you made that sound when you ca all ht curve in your dick," I countered

"Yeahah, how does thatI mean, is that okay?"

"Oh, yeah," I assured hi wonderful inside me"

"Oh? Hmmm"

"And I wondered, if you were up for it"

"Yeah?"

"You’d ain?"

"I think you could persuade o down on you?"

By the light of the flickering fire, I could see his pupils dilate "Oh," he said

"Lick you? Like this?" I extendedof my own

"That would do the trick," he said hoarsely "Jesus, Harper, I don’t understand e don’t have guys following us from town to town just to watch you do that"

"Because I’ve never done it for anyone but you," I said "You don’t think I’d say so like that to anyone else, do you?"