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Marah stared up into her godaze "Yes," she said softly

"I don’t understand," Dad said, looking from Tully to Marah

"She did it on purpose," Tully said

Marah could see how confused her father was Itherself helped "How could I not know that you were hurting yourself?"

"I know someone who can help her," Tully said

"Here in LA?" Dad asked, turning to look up at Tully

"In Seattle Reet Marah in to see her on Monday"

"Seattle," Marah said It was a lifeline being thrown to her How often had she drea back to see her friends? But now that the opportunity was here, she found that she didn’t care It was more proof that she was sick Disturbed Depressed

Dad shook his head "I don’t know…"

"She did it down here, Johnny, in Los Angeles," Tully said "Today of all days I may not be Freud, but I can tell you this is a cry for help Let me help her"

"You?" he said sharply

"You’re still angry with me? What the hell for? No, don’t answer that I don’t care I aiving you space or cutting you slack If I didn’t fight you right now, Katie would kick my ass I promised her I would take care of Marah You obviously haven’t done a great job"

"Tully" The warning in his voice was unet her in to see Harriet on Monday, or Tuesday at the latest Then we can decide what comes next"

Dad looked at Marah "Do you want to see Dr Bloom in Seattle?"

The truth was, Marah didn’t care about Dr Bloo except to be left alone And to leave Los Angeles "Yeah," she said tiredly

Dad turned to Tully "I’ll come up as soon as I can"

Tully nodded

Dad didn’t look convinced He stood up and faced Tully "I can trust you to take care of her for a few days?"

"I’ll be like a s"

"I ant a full report"

Tully nodded "You’ll have one"

Ten

Marah didn’t go to her high school graduation after all, and it was a relief Instead, she boarded a plane with Tully and flew back to Seattle True to her word, Tully got Marah a two o’clock appoint Monday

Today

Marah didn’t want to get out of bed She hadn’t slept well last night and now she was exhausted Still, she did as expected of her She took a shower and washed her hair and even bothered to dry it Although it took a lot of effort, she picked her clothes from her suitcase instead of froht

When she put on her 7 for All Mankind jeans--once one of her favorite possessions, in that other life--she was horrified at howon her, exposed the sharp knobs of her hip bones She chose a heavy Abercroht frame a little bulk--and to hide the scars on her upper ar the hoodie up to her throat, she started to leave the bedroom She et started

But as she passed her open suitcase, her gaze landed on the pocket sewn into the side, where her pocketknife was hidden For a second, the world see and felt the blood flowing through her veins She i herself for a second, just once so that this terrible pressure in her chest would ease, was so te she actually took a step forward, reached out

"Marah!"

She yanked her hand back and glanced quickly around

She was alone

"Marah!"

It was Tully She’d yelled twice That meant she could be on her way down the hall

Marah fisted her hands, felt the pinch of fingernails in the fleshy h her voice was dry and small, barely audible even to her

She left the bedroom and shut the door with a little click

In no ti Marah out of the condominium, as if she were blind

As they walked uptown, Tully talked

Marah tried to listen, but her heart was beating so fast it deafened her to anything else Her hands were sweating She didn’t want to sit doith so herself

"Here we are," Tully said at last, and Marah ca in front of a tall glass building When had they passed the park where the hoathered beneath the totem pole? She didn’t remember That scared her

She followed Tully into the elevator and up to the doctor’s office, where a serious young wo room

Marah perched uncomfortably on an overstuffed blue chair by an aquariu," Tully said She sat down beside Marah and took hold of her hand "Marah?"

"What?"

"Look atshe knew: it was a waste of tinore Tully Slowly she turned "Uh-huh?"

"There’s nothing wrong with how you feel," she said gently "So her hurts more than I can stand, too"