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Jaer! You ought to write that out and sign it "Octogenarian" and send it in to The Times You just co all that badly'

'Bondo-san, you have pleaded guilty out of your owntoo badly," indeed! That is the crybaby excuse of a boy who gets a thoroughly bad end-of-ter very badly indeed in the opinion of your few re friends And now you coence reat Power Why should we give it to you? What good will it do us? What good will it do you, Bondo-san? It is like giving sht just before the inevitable knockout'

Bond said angrily, 'Balls to you, Tiger! And balls again! Just because you're a pack of et rid of your A behind your subservient sle standards Let land may have been bled pretty thin by a couple of World Wars, our Welfare State politics may have made us expect too one too fast, but we still climb Everest and beat plenty of the world at plenty of sports and win Nobel Prizes Our politicians may be a feather pated bunch, and I expect yours are too All politicians are But there's nothing wrong with the British people - although there are only fifty er Tanaka sht your fah I just wanted to see And, for your information, those are very similar to the words I addressed to my Priht, Mr Tanaka Put this Coree that there is still an elite in Britain and that this valuable material would be safe in their hands If he fails, you will politely turn down the request'

Bond shrugged iht, and the half-truths which he knew lay behind his words 'All right, Tiger What is this ridiculous test? Some typical bit of sareed Tiger Tanaka, with equanion within'

9

INSTANT JAPAN

THE black Topoyet hurtled through the deserted streets which were shiny with the deould be a beautiful day

Tiger had dressed in casual clothes as if for a country outing He had a s on the seat beside hier said was of a very special, a very pleasurable nature It was also, Tiger said, very discreet, and the opportunity would be taken toer had overridden all Bond's objections On all the evidence, this doctor was a purveyor of death Because he was er neither knew nor cared For obvious reasons of policy, his assassination, which had been officially agreed to, could not be carried out by a Japanese Bond's appearance on the scene was therefore very timely He had had much practice in such clandestine operations and, if he was subsequently arrested by the Japanese police, an adequate cover story involving foreign intelligence services could be cooked up He would be tried, sentenced, and then quietly sled out of the country If he failed, then presuuards would kill hiued that he had personally nothing against this Swiss botanist Tiger replied that any good ainst a man who had already killed five hundred of his fellow creatures Was that not so? And, in any case, Bond was being hired to do this act in exchange for MAGIC 44 Did that not quieten his conscience? Bond agreed reluctantly that it did As a last resort, Bond said that the operation was in any case iner in Japan could be spotted five er replied that this matter had been provided for and the first step was a visit to this most discreet bathhouse Here Bond would receive his first treat the train on which Tiger would be accorin, had assured him that at any rate part of his treat

The exterior of the bathhouse looked like a Japanese inn - so briefly between dwarf pines, a wide-open, yellow-lighted doorith a vista of polished wood floors behind, three bowing sh it was nearly five in the , and the inevitable row of spotless, but undersi2ed slippers After er, Bond took off his shoes and, in his socks (explanation by Tiger; polite giggles behind raised hands), did as Tiger told hi corridor and through an open partition that revealed agirl, wearing nothing but tight, brief shorts and an exiguous white brassiere, bowed low, said, 'Excuse, please,' and began to unbutton Bond's trousers Bond held the pretty hand where it was He turned to the older woman as about to close the partition and said, 'Tanaka-san,' in a voice that pleaded and ordered Tiger was fetched He earing nothing but his underpants He said, 'What is it now?'

Bond said, 'Now listen, Tiger, I' very well indeed But just tellto eat er said patiently, 'You reallyquestions, Bondo-san That is the essence of our relationship during the next few days You see that box? When she has undressed you, she will put you in the box which has a charcoal fire under it You will sweat After perhaps ten minutes she will help you out of the box and wash you from head to foot She will even tenderly clean out your ears with a special ivory instrument She will then pour a very tenacious dark dye hich she has been supplied into that tiled bath in the floor and you will get in You will relax and bathe your face and hair She will then dry you and cut your hair in the Japanese style She will then give you ato your indications, she will ed as you wish You will then go to sleep When you are awakened with eggs and bacon and coffee you will kiss the girl goodand shave, or the other way round, and that will be that' Tiger curtly asked the girl a question She brushed back her bang of black hair coquettishly and replied 'The girl says she is eighteen and that her name is Mariko Ichiban Mariko irls in these establishments are numbered And now, please don't disturb me any more I am about to enjoy myself in a similar fashion, but without the walnut stain And please, in future, have faith You are about to undergo a period of entirely new sensations TheyThey will not be painful - while you are under my authority, that is Savour theood night, ht will be short, alas, but if you ehtful up to the last squirave a malicious wave of the hand as he went out and closed the partition, 'you will arise froot at any rate part of the ers proceeded to remove his trousers and then his shirt, he lifted her chin and kissed her full on the soft, yielding, bud-likein the cohtly, but cheerfully, drunk, he rehts in Queen Mary's Rose Garden He also re that he could leave the hardware behind on this purely diplonment; and the lines of irony round Bond'sinto the wallwith her hair and eyebrows Bond said, 'Mariko Out I'

Mariko smiled and bowed She unhurriedly removed her brassiere and came towards the wooden box

Bond reflected: What was it that Tiger had said about beco hands and watched her breasts tauten as she pulled him out and towards her

It was indeed a new ed halls of Tokyo ht brown tint, his black hair, brightly oiled, was cut and neatly coe that reached halfway down his forehead, and the outer corners of his eyebrows had been carefully shaved so that they now slanted upwards He was dressed, like so many of the other travellers, in a white cotton shirt buttoned at the wrists and a cheap, knitted silk, black tie exactly centred with a rolled gold pin His ready-made black trousers, held up by a cheap black plastic belt, were rather loose in the fork, because Japanese behinds are inclined to hang low, but the black plastic sandals and dark blue nylon socks were exactly the right size Aover his shoulder, and this contained a change of shirt, singlet, pants and socks, Shinsei cigarettes, and some cheap Japanese toilet articles In his pockets were a co some five thousand yen in small denomination notes, and a stout pocket knife which, by Japanese law, had a blade notThere was no handkerchief, only a packet of tissues (Later, Tiger explained 'Bondo-san, this Western habit of blowing the nose and carefully wrapping up the result in silk or fine linen and harbouring it in your pocket as if it were so with the other excretions of your body? Exactly! So, if in Japan you wish to blow your nose, perform the act decorously and dispose at once, tidily, of the result')

Despite his height, Bondcrowd of passengers His'disguise' had mysteriously appeared in his roo hily as, with a last lingering kiss, she had gone to answer Tiger's rap on the partition Bond's own clothes and possessions had already been taken away

'They and your things froer had said 'Later today, Dikko will inform your Chief that you have left Tokyo with me for a visit to the MAGIC establishment, which is, in fact, a day's journey from Tokyo, and that you •will be away for several days Dikko believes that this is so My own department merely know that I shall be absent on aori on the south coast and the evening hydrofoil across Ise Bay to the fishing port of Toba There ill spend the night This is to be a slow journey to Fukuoka for the purpose of training and educating you It is necessary that I make you familiar with Japanese customs and folkways so that you make as few leaer barged his way on board Bond waited politely for two or three woer hissed angrily, 'First lesson, Bondo-san! Do not make way for women Push them, trample them down Women have no priority in this country You may be polite to very old men, but to no one else Is that understood?'