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"I’m not sure what you want froht? The only guy in the house not getting any?" I give her half a sht now

"No Make it up to me there" She points to her bed and lays her hand on mine--the one on the doorknob

Shit I’uess I’ve been stuck in worse encounters than having sex when I’ as you know it’s just tonight"

She laughs "Yeah, I know all about your little romance--is it real, or publicity?"

It takesabout E that"

She nods "Sure Okay I get it"

I drop my hand from the doorknob "Okay then"

She takes my hand, pulls me back across the room "Okay then"

Chapter 23

E to make sure Reid and I were booked into separate roohts in San Francisco Not because I don’t trust Reid, but because Graham doesn’t

Which bothers me, but I understand it The relationships we’ve had with Reid and Brooke trigger that small voice of what if in each of us He thinks what if she’s not over Reid, and I think what if he’s really in love with Brooke

Thursday night, after Graham texted and said he missed me, I answered that I h our old es to each other, all the way back to the one where I asked hi before Dad and I left New York He hadn’t answered, but he’d co, I wanted hi to accept friendship-only terht of him with someone else induced a soul-deep ache

I wouldn’t be able to do that now I’m in too far I want too nored it, because of course Graha to screw this up And then I picture Brooke, pressed against hi him, and I telltoto himself

I wish I’d never seen that paparazzi photo The thing I fear most would be so much easier to dis color While I’m at it, I wish Emily had never seen it She won’t drop the fact that he was secretive about Cara, even when I tell her that he isn’t secretive, he’s guarded, and yes, there’s a difference "Emily, I trust him," I say, and she harumphs Maybe she hears the fear in my voice Because that’s what it is--this isn’t distrust It’s fear

When I sign into Skype, Graha for me

"Ten more days," I say, and he smiles

We talk about our days He took Cara to the park I got htly trauely enough, the fact that she snapped on latex gloves beforehand didn’t , ‘Sensitive area,’ when she was about to go somewhere I don’t let anyone touch me" I blush when I realize that isn’t quite true, and even ifso away, because Graham arches a brow

"Hmm"

"What?"

He shakes his head slowly "I think hty traveler, E, eloves! Please!" I say froe of love, no love"

I sit up "I cannot believe you just said that after what I went through today"

He laughs again while I pout "I couldn’t resist I’h the pat-down and a couple of body scans while traveling, and whenever he wears one particular band t-shirt to fly, it seee search "It’s bizarre Radiohead t-shirt equals luggage search Every Tio for body cavities at some point"

We talk a few minutes more, and then he clears his throat and says, "U"

His tone tellsFor a couple of seconds, I can’t breathe My heart is thudding in my chest "Okay"

He takes a deep breath "You know I’ on Wednesday"

I nod "Yes" I sense he’s not going for congratulations

"Brooke is coh his hair "I would have told you before, but I honestly forgot about her plans to co, and I didn’t want to just text it to you"

Brooke is attending Graharaduation I frown "When did you invite her?"

"I didn’t, really, she just offered, last week We uess she just wants to show her support--"

"I get it" I stop hi, dedicated friendship "You’re really close and you have been for years before youfor me to be concerned about" Jealous about Jealous is what I want to say But I areen-eyed monster

"Emma, I don’t want to upset you…"