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Edith had said Hanna was too skinny even when Hanna was a chunky, ugly loser, but it still felt good to hear it The sugar soothed her A third cookie ht even make her feel euphoric You shouldn’t, a voice said inside her head You had all that popcorn at Lucas’s You’re wearing your fat jeans, and even they feel tight
But the cookies s at another one of her father’s work colleagues, and so inside her broke open Don’t, she willed, but her hands see up six cookies in a napkin Her legs had aaround the partygoers Hanna got as far as the empty stairwell before she opened the napkin and started pushing the cookies in her mouth one by one She chewed and sith desperation Cruers andinside her that told her she could only stop when she finished each and every one--only then would she be filled
This was exactly what had happened the first time she’d met Kate and Isabel in Annapolis: She’d felt so nervous and aard that the only thing that soothed her was eating copious a, had gaped at her like she wasn’t hu, Mr Marin had joked, Did little piggy eat too much?
It had been the first time Hanna had ever made herself throw up--and it wasn’t the last Over the years she’d worked hard to stop, but soh-pitched giggle pealed froht It sounded like Ali When she looked out the front , she swore she saw so around in the bushes
Hanna peered into the darkness Then, she felt eyes on her back and turned Her father and Kate were staring at her from the kitchen
Their eyes flicked from Hanna’s chocolate-smeared mouth to the crumbs on her chest to the cookies in her hands Kate smirked Mr Marin’s brow furrowed Eventually, he lifted his hand to his face andmotion at his lips Hanna brushed off a chocolate chip stuck to her cheek Kate turned away and covered hercookies tu, Hanna fled upstairs and slaer to the loud hoots of the partygoers and the boo Crosby Christh Christ for a lifetime
Chapter 4
You’ll Never Work in This Mall Again
Tuesday after school, Hanna pushed through double doors that said WELCOME TO THE GRAND OPENING OF THE DEVON CREST MALL! on the glass She entered a large atrium and breathed in The air smelled like a mix of Auntie Anne’s pretzels, Starbucks coffee, and a e fountain burbled, and well-dressed girls carrying shopping bags from Tiffany & Co, Tory Burch, and Cole Haan pranced past It was siular haunt, but just different enough so that it didn’t evoke a singletrips there with Mona
Just being surrounded by retail made Hanna feel better She should have visited the mall earlier, but she hadn’t had the time Yesterday, as part of the Twelve Days of Christone with her father, Isabel, and Kate to a performance of Handel’s Messiah in Villanova--snore The day before that, they’d attended an eggnog-tasting at the local Williarin, she and Kate were only allowed to drink the nonalcoholic eggnog, which tasted like rancid nondairy creao to a departht display tonight, but the departs Huge loss
Now, Hanna passed a seating area with a sluten-free bakery She pulled out her phone to check once le eo and had already forgotten his promise to check in daily
Whatever She could trust Lucas Right? Hanna thrust her chin into the air, trying to remain calm, and stopped to look at the mall directory It had an Otter, her favorite boutique She would drown her frustrations by buying the irl"
Hanna turned her head to look for the passing college guy who’d surely made the comment, but there wasn’t anyone there Instead, she saw a Santa Land village replete with inflatable candy canes, a gingerbread house, and a bunch of bored-looking, college-aged elves in pointy shoes and hats Santa Claus sat on a gilded throne, his hat askew
"Nice sain, and Hanna realized it was Santa He beckoned her over with his white glove "Want to sit onaway She could hear hi all the way up the escalator
Otter glea fashion beacon Hanna ey music mix She lifted up a silk scarf and pressed it to her face Then she inhaled the expensive scent of the buttery leather Kooba bags and ran her fingers over the denis and tie-waist Marc Jacobs chiffon dresses Her heart rate slowed She could practically feel her stress levels decreasing
"Can I help you?" a voice chirruped A petite blond salesgirl wearing a high-waist pencil skirt and the sa on the rack appeared next to her "Are you looking for anything special?"
"I definitely need some new jeans" Hanna patted a pair of skinny J Brands on the table "And estured to a cashmere sweater wrap by Alice + Olivia
"Oh, that’s beautiful," the salesgirl gushed "You have great taste Do you want s out for you and start a room while you browse?"
"Sure," Hanna said
"Great" The salesgirl looked Hanna up and down, then nodded "Leave everything to rinned This seemed like the start of a beautiful friendship Maybe Lauren would put new stock aside for her to try on before other girls could get their grubbyJames Otter did
She did a lap of the store, selecting several ht Hannaa stack of jeans, and whisked thes on, she noticed that Lauren had selected the biggest corner dressing roo rooh those girls weren’t nearly as important