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His head turned back and looked at the shoes again He was sure that several of them had moved-- A bottle shattered near his head Glass showered around him Up above, Darleen uttered a word he'd never have expected on the lips of a lady Rincewind raised his head cautiously and another bottle bounced off his hat 'Soritted teeth There's always some joker-- oh really?'

'Give us a kiss, e of the cart, waving a beer can happily Rincewind had seen so a punch like Darleen Her eyes narrowed, her fist seemed to travel in a complete circle, it met the man's chin about halfway round and when he disappeared fro 'Will you look at that?' Darleen deloves cost a fortune, the bastard!' A beer can sailed past her ear 'Didja see who threw that? Didja? I saw yer, yer mazza! I'll stick my hand down yer throat and pull yer trousers up!' The crowd roared their appreciation and derision at the sa purposefully towards them 'Er' he said 'Hey, that's hi 'It wasn't bushes, it was just a sheep!' Rinceondered who'd said that, and realized it was hi up at him And there was really no escape The street was packed There was another fight further up the procession There were no nearby alleyways, the fugitive's friend And the watchreat difficulty And the croere having the tileamed overhead This was it, then Time for a Famous Last Stand 'What?' he said aloud 'It's never time for a Famous Last Stand!' He turned to Letitia 'I should just like to thank you for trying to help me,' he said 'It's a pleasure to meet some real ladies for once' They looked at one another 'The pleasure's all ours,' said Letitia 'Such a change to irls?'

Darken kicked a fishnet leg at awith a stiletto heel what bromide in your tea is reputed to take several weeks to achieve 'Too bloody true,' she said Rincewind leapt froain very briefly on to so, it really worked A few hands grabbed at him and one or two cans were thrown, but there were also plenty of cries of 'Good on yer!' and That's the way!' At last there was an alley He juear, and then found that the best way to describe the alley was as a cul-de-sac The worst as as an alley with three or four watchave him that look of harassed policemen everywhere which said that, as an unwelco to be guilty of soeant 'That's hi These were not the beery shouts of the carnival People were in real pain out there They were also pressing in so tightly that there was no way out 'I can explain everything,' said Rincewind, half aware of the growing noise 'Wells Look, about this sheep--' So brilliant passed over his head and landed on the cobbles between hi an evening dress, and it had hundreds of little feet They earing high heels Rincewind rolled into a ball and put his hands over his head, trying to block his ears until the noise had died away At the very edge of the sea, the surf bubbled and sucked at the sand As the wavelet drew back it flowed around the splintered bulk of a tree The drifting wood's cargo of crabs and sand fleas waited for theirashore ahead of the next wave The rain banged into the beach, running insand on its way to the sea The crabs surged across these like a ho to in beach

They followed the salty tideline of weed and shells, scra over one another in their search for a space where a crab can proudly stand sideways and start a new life and eat the heady sand of freedorey, sodden pointy hat that was tangled in seaweed, and then ran on to aheap of soaked cloth which offered evenholes and crevices One of them tried to cliain Ponder opened an eye When henoise The history of the last fewa tube of green water, if such a thing were possible, and there had been several periods where the air and the sea and Ponder hih soreat precision, hit every part of his body with a hammer 'Get off, will you!' Ponder reached up and pulled another crab out of his ear, and realized that he had lost his glasses They were probably rolling at the botto lobsters So here he was, on an alien shore, and he'd be able to see everything really clearly provided everything was meant to be a blur 'Am I dead this ti the beach 'No, you're still alive, sir,' said Ponder 'Daroans as bits of tidal debris turned out to be wizardsto get to his feet 'I'm sure I'm not,' moaned the Dean 'I don't seeMrs Whitlow,' said Ridcully 'Or the Bursar' Ponder sat up 'There'soh, dearwell, there's the Bursar' Out at sea a huge as building up It towered higher and higher And the Bursar was on top of it 'Bursar!' Ridcully screaure stood up on the seed and waved

'He's standing up,' said Ridcully 'Is he supposed to stand up on those things? He's not supposed to stand up, is he? I' up YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO STAND UP, BURSAAAR! HowThat's not supposed to happen, is it?' The wave curled, but the Bursar seee green all like a man on one ski Ridcully turned to the other wizards 'He can't do that, can he? He's walking up and down on it Can he do that? The wave's curling over and he's just sliding gently along theOh, no' The foa wizard 'That's it, then,' said Ridcully 'Erno' said Ponder The Bursar reappeared further along the beach, expelled fro tube of water like an arrow fro the shore as if it had just offended it The seed changed direction, cruised gently over the backwash and crunched to a halt on the sand The Bursar stepped off 'Hooray,' he said 'My feet are wet What a nice forest Time for tea' He picked up the seed and rammed it point first in the sand Then he wandered away up the beach 'How did he do that?' said Ridcully 'I ood Bursar, of course'

'Possibly the lack ofto impede physical stability?' said Ponder wearily 'You think so?'

'Not really, sir I just said it for soe sos, and started to count under his breath 'Is there anything to eat here?' said the Chair of Indefinite Studies 'Four,' said Ponder 'I beg your pardon?'

'What? Oh, it was just so, sir No, sir There's probably fish and lobsters in the sea, but the land looks pretty bare to h the greyish drizzle to bluish reenishness was the Dean's face and, suddenly, the shoots winding out of the Bursar's surfing seed Leaves unfolded in the rain, tiny flowers opened with little plopping noises 'Well, at least we'll have another boat,' said the Senior Wrangler 'I doubt it, sir,' said Ponder The god wasn't very good at breeding things' And, indeed, the swelling fruit was not looking very boat-shaped 'You know, I still think it would help if we thought of all this as a valuable opportunity,' said Ridcully That's true,' said the Dean, sitting up 'It's not er on some bleak continent thousands of years before you're born We shouldourselves against the deetting and hard-hitting teaot no takers 'I' to eat,'around ai is beyond ods, yes That's true'

'And at least a wizard can always make a decent fire' Ponder's eyes opened wide He rose in one movement aimed at Ridcully, but was still airborne when the Archchancellor tossed a s ball was halfway to the wood Ponder had hit Ridcully in the back, so that both of them were sprawled on the wet sand when the world hooph When they looked up the heap of driftas a blackened crater 'Well, thank you,' said the Dean, behind them 'I feel lovely and dry now, and I never did like h thaumic field, sir,' Ponder panted 'I did say' Ridcully stared at his hands 'I was going to light my pipe with one' he muttered He held the hand away from him 'It was only a Nu away some tufts of burnt beard 'I'm not sure I believe what I just saw,' he said, and pointed a finger at a nearby rock 'No, sir, I don't think you--'

Most of the rock was lifted off the ground and Sanded a hundred yards away The rest of it sizzled in a red-hot puddle 'Can I have a go?' said the Senior Wrangler 'Sir, I really think--'

'Oh, well done, Senior Wrangler,' said the Dean, as another rock fractured into fraght, Stibbons,' said Ridcully 'The eV 'Yes, sir, but I really don't think we should be using it, sir!' Ponder shrieked 'We're wizards, youngis all about'