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it had to go, and since it also didn't knohere this cart was going perhaps it would take it there It waited a decent while after it had been put down, and then took in its surroundings It had been stacked up by a lot of other boxes and suitcases, which was coround for e felt that it was due some quality time And it didn't even resist when soe shoes, the Luggage noticed, andheels and inventive ith silk and sequins They were clearly ladies' shoes That was good, the Luggage thought (or emoted, or reacted) Ladies tended to lead quieter lives The purple cart rumbled off Painted crudely on the back were the words: Petunia, The Desert Princess Rincewind looked hard at the shears that the head shearer aving They looked sharp 'You knoe do to people who go back on a bet round here?' said Daggy, the gang boss 'Erbut I was drunk'

'So e So what?' Rincewind looked out across the sheep pens He knehat sheep were, of course, and had coh noretables He'd even had a toy stuffed laely unlovable about sheep, a kind ofof daions extol the virtues of the meek, but Rincewind had never trusted them The meek could turn very nasty at times On the other handthey were covered in wool, and the shears looked pretty keen How hard could it be? His radar told hi was probably a lot less of a cri at all 'Can I have a trial run?' he said A sheep was dragged out of the pens and flung down in front of hiy what he hoped was the sy was like throwing ainst a cliff 'Er, can I have a chair and a towel and two y's look of intense suspicion deepened 'What's this? What d'you want all that for?'

'Got to do it properly, haven't I?'

Away out of sight at the back of the shearing shed, on the sun-bleached boards, the outline of a kangaroo began to for across the wood like wisps of cloud across a clear sky, it began to change shapeRincewind hadn't had a proper haircut in a long time, but he kneas done 'Sohave you had your holidays this year, then?' he said, clipping away 'Mnaaarrrhh!'

'What about this weather, eh?' Rincewind said, desperately 'Mnaaarrrhh!' The sheep wasn't even trying to struggle It was an old one, with fewer teeth than feet, and even in the very limited depths of its extre was supposed to go Shearing was supposed to be a brief struggle followed by glorious cool freedo questions about what it thought of this weather or enquiries as to whether it required so for the weekend, especially since the sheep had no concept of the connotations of the ter' either People weren't supposed to splash lavender water in its ear The shearers watched in silence There was quite a crowd of theone and fetched everyone else on the station They knew in their souls that here was sorandchildren Rincewind stood back, looked critically at his handiwork, and then showed the sheep the back of its head in the et its feet under it and made a run for the paddock 'Hey, wait till I take the curlers out!' Rincewind shouted after it He beca him Finally one of the where yew come from, is it?'

'Erwhat did you think?' said Rincewind 'It's a bit slow, innit?'

'How fast was I supposed to go?'

'Weell, Daggy here once did nearly fifty in an hour That's what you've got to beat, see? None of that fancy rubbish Just short back, front, top and sides'

'Mind yew,' said one of the shearers, wistfully, 'that was a beautiful lookin' sheep'

There was an outbreak of bleating froo, Rinso?' said Daggy 'Ye gahat's that?' said one of hisits head to dislodge bits of post fros Rincewind had associated with sheep, apart froravy and mint sauce, had to do withsheepishness But this was a rae It pawed the ground It was a lot bigger than the average sheep In fact, it seemed to fill Rincewind's entire future 'That's not one of y placed his shears in Rincewind's other hand and patted him on the back 'This one's yours, mate,' he said, and backed away 'You're here to show us how it's done, eh,They re and looking Rincewind in the bloodshot eye 'Okay,' it whispered, when it was very close 'You just make with the shears and the sheep'll do the rest No worries'

'Is that you?' said Rincewind, glancing at the distant ring of watchers 'Hah, good one Ready? They'll do what I do They're like sheep, okay?' The shearers watched as wool fell like rain That's somethin' you don't often see,' said one of them Theood,' said another shearer, lighting his pipe 'Ion to the shears They had a life of their own The sheep flung theet into so more comfortable Fleeces curled around his ankles, then around his knees, rose above his waistand then the shears were slicing the air, and sizzling as they cooled down Several dozen dazed sheep atching him very suspiciously So were the sheep-shearers 'Erhave we started the competition yet?' he said 'You just sheared thirty sheep in two ood?'

'Good? No one takes two minutes for thirty sheep'