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'I just think that there's so up just ant a boat,' said Ridcully 'I arettes, but a boat with a figurehead?'

'It's not a proper boat without a figurehead,' said the Senior Wrangler 'Yes, but how does it know that?' said Ridcully, wading ashore again 'Well, I' on here'

'Damn!' They all heard the voice – thin, reedy and petulant It cahts appeared in the air, spun around one another with increasing speed, and then iod blinked, and rocked back and forth as he tried to steady hioodness,' he said 'What do I look like?' He held up a hand in front of his face and flexed his fingers experimentally

'Ah' The hand patted his face, his bald head, and lingered for awhite beard He seemed puzzled 'What's this?' he said 'Era beard?' said Ponder The god looked down at his long white robe 'Oh Patriarchality? Oh, welllet ether, focused his gaze on Ridcully, and his huge white eyebrows one frood looked taken aback 'Why? You can't ask why in this situation!'

'Why not?' The god looked slightly panicky 'BecauseThou Must Go from This Place Lest I Visit Thee with Boils!'

'Really? Most people would bring a bottle of wine,' said Ridcully The god hesitated 'What?' he said 'Or cake,' said the Dean 'Cake is a good present if you're visiting someone'

'It depends on what kind of cake,' said the Senior Wrangler 'Sponge cake, I've always thought, is a bit of an insult So with a bit of one frood 'It's better than boils,' said Ridcully 'Provided it's not sponge,' said the Senior Wrangler The probleod was that, while he had never encountered wizards before, the wizards had in their student days s that threatened them horribly as a ue des down the hole 'Listen,' said the god, 'I happen to be the god in these parts, do you understand? I am, in fact, omnipotent!'

'I'd prefer that, what is it, you know, the cake with the pink and yellow squares--' ler, because wizards tend to follow a thought all the way through 'You're a bit sary od finally realized what else had been bothering hi three feet high was not adding anything to his authority 'Daain 'Why a,' said Ridcully 'People always smirk when they say that I can't think why'

'You're absolutely right!' snapped the god, as if Ridcully had triggered an entirely new train of thought 'Look at amoebas, except that of course you can't because they're so small Adaptable, efficient and practically is, amoebas' His little eyes misted over 'Best day's work I ever did'

'Excuse od are you?' said Ponder 'And is there cake or not?' said the Senior Wrangler The god glared up at hi your pardon?' he said 'I od of?' said Ponder 'I said, what about this cake you're supposed to have?' said the Senior Wrangler 'Senior Wrangler?'

'Yes, Archchancellor?'

'Cake is not the issue here'

'But he said--'

'Your coler And they will be thrown over the side as soon as we leave harbour Do continue, god, please' For a ed He sat down on a rock 'All that sloomily 'You don't have to be nice about it I could tell I could give you boils, you understand, it's just that I can't really see the point They clear up after a while, anyway And it is rather bullying people, isn't it? To tell you the truth, I' of an atheist'

'Sorry?' said Ridcully 'You are an atheist god?'

The god looked at their expressions 'Yes, I know,' he said 'It's a bit of a botto white beard 'Why exactly have I got this?'