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'Not obvious at all to the trainedus there precisely because it is so obvious, d'y'see?'

'You mean they'll think only a complete idiot would land there, sir?'

'Correct! And they knoe're not complete idiots, sir, and therefore that will be the last place they will be expecting us, d'y'see? They'll be expecting us somewhere like' – his stick stabbed into the sand –'here' Hornett looked closely In the street outside, so a drum 'Oh, you mean Eritor,' he said 'Where I believe there is a concealed landing area, and two days' forced ood cover would have us at the heart of the empire, sir'

'Exactly!'

'Whereas landing at M Mints means three days over sand dunes and past the fortified city of Zebra'

'Precisely Wide–open spaces! And that is where we can practise the art of warfare' Lord Rust raised his voice above the drus One decisive battle Us on one side, the Klatchians on the other THAT IS HOW THESE THINGS ARE D–' He thren his pointer 'Who the devil isthat infernal noise?' The equerry walked across to the'It's so, sir,' he said 'But we're all here!' The equerry hesitated, as the bearers of bad tidings to short–temperedfor the Watch?'

'Er no, iment Er the banner says "Sir Samuel Viance of the o myself!' There was a crowd in the street In the centre there rose the bulk of Constable Dorfl, and a key thing about the goleoing to ask him to stop No–one except possibly Lord Rust, who strode up and snatched the drumsticks out of his hands 'Yerss, it are species of your choice's life in der First of Foot!' shouted Sergeant Detritus, unaware of the events going on behind him 'You learnin' a trade! You learnin' self–respek! Also you get spiffy uniform plus all der boots you can eat –here, dat'sof this?' said Rust, flinging the horound 'Viure detached itself fro the show 'You know, I rather think I can,' said Vimes He handed Rust a piece of paper 'It's all here, hest authorities, in case you are in any doubt'

'Citing the–?'

'On the role of a knight, h A lot of it is pretty da around the place on one of those bloody great horses with curtains round it and so on, but one of theht has to raise and h when I tell you this a body of armed soldiers! No–one could have beenyou! Seeet soether Of course, most of the watch have joined, well, you kno it is, disciplined lads, anxious to do their bit, so that saved me a bit of effort Except for Nobby Nobbs, 'cos he says if he leaves it till Thursday he's going to have enough white feathers for a mattress' Rust's expression would have preserved meat for a year 'This is a nonsense,' he said 'And you, Vi can ood few lordships in this city created by the Patricians,' said Vi?'

'Then if you persist in playing gaht is created hehis arht of my life,' said Vimes 'A ot no ar'

'In prayer,' said Rust sharply 'That's , "Ye gods, I hope I get through this alive" '

'–and he ainst other trained s' Vimes started to undo the strap of his helmet 'Well, this isn't the best of moments, my lord, but if someone'll hold your coat I can spare you five lea, Vi a step back 'In any case, you have had no for in arot h No–one ever trained me in arms I was lucky there' He leaned closer and lowered his voice so that the watching croouldn't hear 'Y'see, I knohat "training in ares So it's all prancing around wearing padded waistcoats and waving swords with knobs on the end so no–one'll really get hurt, isn't it? But down in the Shades no– one's had any training in arms either Wouldn't know an epee froood at is a broken bottle in one hand and a length of four– by–two in the other and when you face 'eh and a jolly drink afterwards, 'cos they want you dead They want to kill you, you see, Ron? And by the ti your nice shiny broadsword they've carved their naotin arms Well fists and knees and teeth and elbows, entle about me that I liked'

'Can you not even see that you can't enrol dwarfs and trolls in an Ankh– Morpork regiment?'

'It just says "arreat saving Besides, if you've ever seen theht, then you must've been on the same side'