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No’

‘Spiked grill ready to skewer -?’

‘It’s a bucket,’ said Conina flatly, giving it a push

‘What, of scalding, poisonous -?’

‘Whitewash Just a lot of old, dried-up ash’ Conina jurandfather for you,’ said Creosote ‘Never a dull h,’ Conina said firmly, and pointed to the far end of the tunnel ‘Come on, you two’

They were about three feet from the far end when Rincewind felt a movement in the air above hi him forward into the roo nicked his foot at the sae block of stone four feet thick, had dropped into the tunnel

Rincewind crawled forward through the dust clouds and, with a tre on the side of the slab

‘Laugh This One Off,’ he said

He sat back

‘That’s grandad,’ said Creosote happily, ‘always a-’

He intercepted Conina’s gaze, which had the force of a lead pipe, and wisely shut up

Nijel e

‘I say, what happened?’ he said ‘Is everyone all right? It didn’t do that when I went through’

Rincewind sought for a reply, and couldn’t find anything better than, ‘Didn’t it?’

Light filtered into the deep room from tiny barred s up near the roof There was no way out except by walking through the several hundred tons of stone that blocked the tunnel or, to put it in another hich was the way Rincewind put it, they were undoubtedly trapped He relaxed a bit

At least there was no ic carpet It lay rolled up on a raised slab in the middle of the room Next to it was a sold ring He groaned A faint octarine corona hung over all three iteical

When Conina unrolled the carpet a nu a brass herring, a wooden ear, a few large square sequins and a lead box with a preserved soap bubble in it

‘What on earth are they?’ said Nijel

‘Well,’ said Rincewind, ‘before they tried to eat that carpet, they were probably moths’

‘Gosh’

‘That’s what you people never understand,’ said Rincewind, wearily ‘You thinkyou can pick up and use, like a, a-’

‘Parsnip?’ said Nijel

‘Wine bottle?’ said the Seriph

‘So like that,’ said Rincewind cautiously, but rallied somewhat and went on, ‘But the truth is, is-’

‘Not like that?’

‘More like a wine bottle?’ said the Seriph hopefully

‘Magic uses people,’ said Rincewind hurriedly ‘It affects you asYou can’tyou I just thought I’d better warn you’

‘Like a wine bottle,’ said Creosote, ‘that-’

‘-drinks you back,’ said Rincewind ‘So you can put down that laoodness’ sake don’t rub anything’

‘My grandfather built up the family fortunes with them,’ said Creosote wistfully ‘His wicked uncle locked him in a cave, you know He had to set hi in the whole world but a rotto-ful of assorted jewels’

‘Came up the hard way, did he?’ said Rincewind

Conina spread the carpet on the floor It had a coround They were extres, and they seeht in transition fro that the loom which wove them had ratherabout it was that if you looked at it long enough the pattern beca stole over you that if you kept on trying to see both types of dragon at once your brains would trickle out of your ears

Rincewind tore his gaze aith so

‘How does it work?’ he said

Creosote shrugged ‘I’ve never used it,’ he said ‘I suppose you just say "up" and "down" and things like that’

‘How about "fly through the wall"?’ said Rincewind

All three of theh, dark and, above all, solid walls of the roo "rise",’ Nijel volunteered ‘And then, before we hit the roof, we could say, well, "stop"’ He considered this for a bit, and then added, ‘If that’s the word’

‘Or, "drop",’ said Rincewind, ‘or "descend", "dive", "fall", "sink" Or "plunge"’

"Plulooic floating around, you could try using soot "wizzard" written on your hat,’ said Creosote

‘Anyone can write things on their hat,’ said Conina ‘You don’t want to believe everything you read’

‘Now hold on a minute,’ said Rincewind hotly

They held on a minute

They held on for a further seventeen seconds

‘Look, it’s a lot harder than you think,’ he said

‘What did I tell you?’ said Conina ‘Coernails’

Rinceaved her into silence, removed his hat, pointedly blew the dust off the star, put the hat on again, adjusted the briers and panicked

In default of anything better to do, he leaned against the stone