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With a strangled laugh that was mixed with a sob, Samantha shook her head "It wouldn’t have er do you think we could isolate ourselves fro her head, Amaliya scrutinized the tear streaked face of the wo to fall apart anyway I can see it now I meanould’ve happened? Cian and I would have had our pretty candlelight wedding and then what? Be happy for a few years? And then ould happen? I told him I didn’t need to have kids to be happy, but that’s only because I had this glae me on my twenty-ninth birthday and I’d be fabulous forever I was in love with the whole fairytale of living forever with hi"

Aarette and reached for another one "But you were happy"

"I didn’t know him, bitchface," Samantha said wearily "I know that now In fact, I have known since you showed up that eren’t ht, you wouldn’t have landed in our lives like a nuclear boue with that point She had shattered the illusion that Cian and Samantha had constructed by their ain; Sa back into the aparthed "I still believe Cian’s a good guy, but I look at hie I had of him in my head The fantasy I was in love with I don’t know hied "For now"

"What do you mean ‘for now?’" Samantha narrowed her eyes

"We live forever Maybe one day on’t be able to stand each other" Amaliya lifted her shoulder dismissively "We have the now The future is" She waved her hand toward the horizon "The future is unknown" Cian and she had reat, but they didn’t talk in terms of forever like radually understanding bloomed in her eyes "It really is different for you, isn’t it? Being what you are?"

Aave her a brief nod "We could possibly live forever, or get murdered brutally tomorrow by Santos and his crazy half-sister Fuck, The Su around We could be fucked so many different ways Why talk about forever? I want the now Whatever it is that Cian and I have, I want it for the here and now It could be gone toe the truth No matter how desperately she wanted to run away, she also wanted to stay

Watching Ahtful look in her eyes, Samantha was silent for a few s and enjoyed her cigarette Surprisingly, talking to Sa her feel better, but she had more yet to say

"Did it hurt a lot when you died?"

Samantha’s question was unexpected Amaliya responded with a quick incline of her head

"In the hed "The Summoner ripped my throat out It hurt like hell, but as scarier wasthat I needed to stop the flow of blood But there was no way to stop it I knew ih I didn’t want to accept it, that I was about to die And hewas so happy to watch me die" Amaliya shuddered at the memory She distinctly remembered the kiss he had placed on her forehead as the world had grown dim "He told me I was pretty when I died"

"That’s , it hurt, but it felt peaceful, too Like the world was just growing dimmer"

"I felt that, too" A his blood into her, watching her with delight as she choked "But he ruined it"

"Do you wish you had stayed dead?"

"No" That was one thing Alad I’lad I found Cian I knoe hurt you, but I dolove hi her eyes

"Fuck you" The words didn’t hold the lad I’ her elbows on the railing, Amaliya stared out over the hills in the west "I a to you now or solanced over at the other woman "I honestly don’t know" She was secretly terrified that she was now somehow responsible for Samantha

Samantha rubbed her face with her hands and let out an exasperated sound

"Sahts and fashion them into a sentence that would make sense and not piss off Samantha "Sam, I’m sorry that you’re different now I kno fucked up it is I fucking hate The Su ive me a choice He just killeda vadifferentagainst your will I feel like an asshole"

Amaliya tilted her head doard so she wouldn’t have to see the speculative gaze of the other wouilty about a lot of what had happened, but at the same time it wasn’t really her fault Their lives were all totally fucked up because of The Sule to survive Now Sa new and Amaliya instinctively wanted to duck any responsibility that ht land on her shoulders Yet, how could she do that? Wasn’t that what The Surandmother to come and help you," Amaliya added

"I’d like that Even if she hates me"