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Prologue

Mommy! Mommy! Mommy is asleep on the floor

She has been asleep for a long time I brush her hair because she likes that She doesn't wake up I shake her Mory He isn't here I am thirsty In the kitchen I pull a chair to the sink and I have a drink The water splashes over my blue sweater Mommy is still asleep Mommy wake up! She lies still She is cold I fetch reen rug beside her Mommy is still asleep I have two toy cars They race by the floor where Mo I think Mommy is sick I search

for so to eat In the icebox I find peas They are cold I eat them slowly They one In the icebox is soue is stuck to it I eat it slowly It tastes nasty I drink some water I play with my cars and I sleep beside Mommy Mommy is so cold and she won't wake up The door crashes open I cover Mommy with my blankieHe's here Fuck What the fk happened here? Oh the crazy fked up bitch Shit Fuck Get out of my way, you little shit He kicks me and I hit my head on the floor My head hurts He calls sooes He locks the door I lay down beside Mommy My head hurts The lady policeman is here No No No Don't touch me Don't touch me Don't touch me I stay by Mommy No Stay away from me The lady

policerabs me I scream Mommy! Mommy! I want my Mommy The

words are gone I can't say the words Mommy can't hear me I have no words

"Christian! Christian!" Her voice is urgent, pulling hihtmare, the depths of his despair "I'm here I'm here"

He wakes and she's leaning over hi hi with tears

"Ana," His voice is a breathless whisper, the taste of fear tarnishing his mouth "You're here"

"Of course I'm here"

"I had a dream"

"I know I'm here, I'm here"

"Ana" He breathes her na panic that courses through his body

"Hush, I' hi back the shadows, forcing back the fear She is sunshine, she is lightshe is his

"Please let's not fight" His voice is hoarse as he wraps his arms around her

"Okay"

"The vows No obeying I can do that We'll find a way" The words rush out of his mouth in a tumble of emotion and confusion and anxiety

"Yes We will We will always find a way," she whispers and her lips are on his, silencing hi him back to the now

Chapter One

I stare up through gaps in the sea grass parasol at the bluest of skies, suh Christian is beside er My husband - my hot, beautiful husband, shirtless, and in cut-off jeans - is reading a book predicting the collapse of the Western banking systee-turner; I haven't seen him sit this still, ever He looks more like a student than the hotshot CEO of one the top privately owned companies in the United States

On the final leg of our honeymoon, we laze in the afternoon sun on the beach of the aptly nah we're not actually staying in this hotel I open aze out at the Fair Lady anchored in the harbor We are staying, of course, on board a luxury motor yacht Built in 1928, she floats majestically on the water, queen of the all the yachts in the harbor She looks like a child's wind-up toy Christian loves her - I suspect he's tempted to buy her Honestly, boys and their toys

Sitting back, I listen to the Christian Grey mix on my new iPod and doze in the late afternoon sun, idly re his proposal; oh his dreamy proposal in the boathouseI can almost smell the scent of the meadoers

"Can we marry tomorrow?" Christian murmurs softly in my ear I am sprawled on his chest in the flowery bower in the boathouse, sated fro

"Hmm"