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CHAPTER 1
BLAST TO THE PAST
Barcelona, Spain
Happy was not a word often used to describe Arteuard Jolly and contented were also words that were rarely applied to hiet to be one of thewith anyone who happened to stroll past, unless the chat concerned exit routes and concealed weapons
On this particular afternoon, Butler and Arteuard’s Eurasian features were even e was, as usual,Butler’s job more complicated than it needed to be Artemis had insisted that they stand on the sidewalk of Barcelona’s Passeig de Gràcia for over an hour in the afternoon sun, with only a few slender trees to provide them with cover from the heat or possible enemies
This was the fourth unexplained trip to foreign locations in as h, then Death Valley in the American West, followed by an extremely arduous trek to doubly landlocked Uzbekistan And now Barcelona All to wait for a mysterious visitor, who had not as yet made an appearance
They e, ht teenager: pale, raven-haired, with large piercing blue eyes
“Why must you circle so, Butler?” asked Artemis, irritated He knew the answer to his own question, but according to his calculations, the expected visitor to Barcelona was a minute late, and he allowed his annoyance to transfer to the bodyguard
“You know perfectly hy, Artemis,” replied Butler “In case there is a sniper or an audiotech on one of the rooftops I a to provide maximum cover”
Arteenius This was aas these demonstrations were for the fourteen-year-old Irish boy, they could be intensely irritating for anyone on the receiving end
“Firstly, it is hardly likely that there is a sniper gunning for al ventures and spread the capital across an extre to eavesdrop on us o ho a solinium pulse that whites out any surveillance tape, human or fairy”
Butler glanced at a passing couple ere bewitched by Spain and young love The ered his third button guiltily
“We may have ruined a few honeymoon videos,” he noted
Arteed “A small price to pay for my privacy”
“Was there a third point?” asked Butler innocently
“Yes,” said Arten of the individual he was expecting “I was about to say that if there is a guns, it’s that one directly to the rear So you should stay behind me”
Butler was the best bodyguard in the business, and even he couldn’t be a hundred percent sure which rooftop a potential gunman would be on
“Go on Tellto”
“Very well, since you ask No sniper would position himself on the rooftop of Casa Milà, directly across the street, because it is open to the public and so his access and escape would probably be recorded”
“His or her,” corrected Butler “Most metal men are women these days”
“His or her,” aht are soe, so why handicap yourself?”
“Very good Go on”
“The cluster behind us is financial buildings with private security stickers on the s A professional will avoid any confrontation he is not being paid for”
Butler nodded It was true
“And so, I logically conclude that your iinary sniper would pick the four-story construction to our rear It is residential, so access is easy The roof affords him or her a direct line of fire, and the security is possibly dismal or, more than likely, nonexistent”
Butler snorted Artea as a Kevlar vest
“You’re probably right,” aduard “But only if the sniper is as smart as you are”
“Good point,” said Artemis
“And I ius You just picked that one to keep me out of your line of vision, which leadswill turn up outside Casa Milà”
Artemis smiled “Well done, old friend”
Casa Milà was an early twentieth-century dwelling designed by the Spanish art nouveau architect Antoni Gaudí The façade consisted of curved walls and balconies topped by twisted ironworks The ay outside the building was th
ronged with tourists lining up for an afternoon tour of the spectacular house
“Will we recognize our visitor a all these people? Are you sure that he is not already here? Watching us?”
Arte “Believe me, he is not here If he were, there would be a lot of screa”
Butler scowled Once, just once, he would like to get all the facts before they boarded the jet But that wasn’t the way Arteenius, the reveal was the most important part of his schemes
“At least tell me if our contact will be armed”
“I doubt it,” said Artemis “And even if he is, he won’t be with us for more than a second”
“A second? Just beah outer space, is he?”
“Not space, old friend,”said Artehed “Anyway, the ht us here for nothing Our visitor has not materialized The chances were slim Obviously there was nobody at the other end of the rift”
Butler didn’t knohat rift Arte this insecure location The sooner they could get back to Barcelona Airport the better
The bodyguard pulled a mobile phone from his pocket and hit a number on the speed dial The person on the other end picked up on the first ring
“Maria,” said Butler “Collection, pronto”
“Sí,” replied Maria tersely Maria worked for an exclusive Spanish limousine company She was extremely pretty and could break a breeze block with her forehead
“Was that Maria?” said Arte casual conversation perfectly
Butler was not fooled Artemis Fowl rarely asked casual questions
“Yes, that was Maria You could tell because I used her name when I spoke to her You don’t usually ask so many questions about the limo driver That’s four in the past fifteenus up? Where do you think Maria is right no old do you think Maria is?”
Artemis rubbed his temples “It’s this blasted puberty, Butler Every ti about her The girl at that restaurant, for instance I’ve glanced in her direction a dozen times in the past few minutes”
Butler gave the pretty girl in question an autouard’s once-over
She elve or thirteen, did not appear to be arirl was studiously working her way through a selection of tapas while a uardian, perhaps her father, read the paper There was anotherto stow a set of crutches under his chair Butler judged that the girl was not a direct threat to their safety, though indirectly she could cause trouble if Artemis were unable to concentrate on his plan