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'Read this and see if you still have an appetite' Mr Cropper sat doith bad grace and glanced at the first page Then he turned to the second page After a while he opened the desk drawer and pulled out a ruler, which he looked at thoughtfully 'You've just read about Banana Soup Surprise?' said Goatberger 'Yes!'

'You wait till you get to Spotted Dick'

'Well, ranny used to make Spotted Dick-'

'Not to this recipe,' said Goatberger, with absolute certainty Cropper fues 'Blimey! Do you think any of this stuff works?'

'Who cares? Go down to the Guild right now and hire all the engravers that're free Preferably elderly ones'

'But I've still got the Grune, June, August and Spune predictions for next year's Almanack to-'

'Forget them Use some old ones'

'People'll notice'

'They've never noticed before,' said Mr Goatberger 'You know the drill Astounding Rains of Curry in Klatch, Aue of Wasps in Howondaland This is a lot ain 'Considerably more important' And he dreamed the dreaold in your pockets that you would have to ee, be-coluoyle-haunted face of Ankh-Morpork's Opera House was there, in front of Agnes Nitt She stopped At least, nes It took soions to coo in, or she could go away It hat they called a life choice She'd never had one of those before Finally, after standing still for long enough for a pigeon to consider the perching possibilities of her huge and rather sad black floppy hat, she cli the the dirt around with a brooe of scenery and a chance to htly too sruously on spiky black hair 'Excuse nes The effect was electric He turned around, tangled one foot with the other, and collapsed on to his broones's hand flew to her mouth, and then she reached down 'Oh, I'm so sorry!' The hand had that claly of soap He pulled it away quickly, pushed his greasy hair out of his eyes and gave her a terrified s called an underdone face, its features rubbery and pale 'No trouble miss!'

'Are you all right?' He scraled between his knees, and sat down again sharply 'Ershall I hold the broole He got up again, after a couple of false starts

'Do you work for the Opera House?' said Agnes 'Yes miss!'

'Er, can you tell o for the auditions?' He looked around wildly 'Stage-door!' he said 'I'll show you!' The words came out in a rush, as if he had to line theo before they had time to wander off He snatched the broom out of her hands and set off down the steps and towards the corner of the building He had a unique stride: it looked as though his body were being dragged forward and his legs had to flail around underneath it, landing wherever they could find room It wasn't so much a walk as a collapse, indefinitely postponed His erratic footsteps led towards a door in the side wall Agnes followed them in just inside was a sort of shed, with one open wall and a counter positioned so that so there could watch the door The person behind itbecause walruses don't wear coats The strange nes looked around desperately 'Yes, miss?' said the walrus man It really was an irowth from the rest of its owner 'ErI'nes 'I saw a notice that said you were auditioning-' She gave a helpless little smile The doorkeeper's face proclaimed that it had seen and been unines could have eaten hot dinners He produced a clipboard and a stub of pencil 'You got to sign here,' he said 'Who was thatperson who ca a smile was buried soe' This seemed to be all the inforripped the pencil The most important question hat should she call herself? Her na qualities, no doubt, but it didn't exactly roll off the tongue It snapped off the palate and clicked between the teeth, but it didn't roll off the tongue The trouble was, she couldn't think of one with great rotational capabilities Catherine, possibly OrPerdita She could go back to trying Perdita She'd been e that na of darkness and intrigue and, incidentally, of soiven herself a middle initial-X-which stood for 'so middle initial' It hadn't worked Lancre people were depressingly resistant to cool She had just been known as 'that Agnes who calls herself Perditax' She'd never dared tell anyone that she'd like her full name to be Perdita X Dreas like: if you think that's the right naot two shelves full of soft toys? Well, here she could start afresh She was good She knew she was good Probably no hope for the Drea usually went to bed early After all, she was an old lady Sometimes she went to bed as early as 6 a h the woods Her boots crunched on the leaves The wind had died away, leaving the sky wide and clear and open for the first frost of the season, a petalnipping, fruit- withering little scorcher that showed you why they called Nature a motherA third witch Three witches could sort ofspread the load Maiden, mother andcrone There The trouble was that Granny Weatherwax combined all three in one She was a ht age- bracket for a crone; and, as for the third, wellcross Granny Weatherwax on a bad day and you'd be like a blossom in the frost There was bound to be a candidate for the vacancy, though There were several young girls in Lancre ere just about the right age Trouble was, the young men of Lancre knew it too Nanny wandered the suularly, and had a sharp if co Violet Frottidge alking out with young Deviousness Carter, or at least doing so out Bonnie Quarney had been gathering nuts in May with Williaht ahead and taken a little advice fro fruit in February And pretty soon now young Mildred Tinker's mother would have a quiet ith Mildred Tinker's father, and he'd have a ith his friend Thatcher and he'd have a ith his son Hob, and then there'd be a wedding, all done in a properly civilized way except for ht Nanny with a misty-eyed smile: innocence, in a hot Lancre summer, was that state in which innocence is lost And then a naht of her? But you didn't, of course Whenever you thought about the young girls of Lancre, you didn't remember her And then you said, 'Oh, yes, her too, of course O' course, she's got a wonderful personality And good hair, of course' She was bright, and talented InThat was her power, finding its way out And of course she also had a wonderful personality, so there'd be notdisqualifiedWell, that was settled, then Another witch to bully and ines would be bound to thank her eventually Nanny Ogg was relieved You needed at least three witches for a coven Titches was just an argue and climbed the stairs to bed Her cat, the torey fur He didn't even awake as Nanny lifted hihtdress-clad, she could slide between the sheets Just to keep bad drea out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy braindeath Then she puht 'Heryes,' and drifted off to sleep Presently Greebo awoke, stretched, yawned and hopped silently to the floor Then thea pile of fur that ever had the intelligence to sit on a bird table with its mouth open and a piece of toast balanced on its nose vanished through the openA few arden next door stuck up his head to greet the bright new day and died instantly e darkness in front of Agnes while, at the sae of the stage, giant flat candles floated in a long trough of water, producing a strong yellow

anks to the people who showed ine I can best repay their kindness by nottheir names here The wind howled The stors like an old et an elusive blackberry pip out of his false teeth A furze bushes a fire blazed, the flausts An eldritch voice shrieked: 'When shall wetwoain?' Thunder rolled A rather o and shout that for? You ain 'Sorry, Es it foryou knowold tih'

'I'd just got it nice and brown, too'

'Sorry'