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“It’s so oes out than it would have been if it had never shone”

- John Steinbeck

Prologue

Marcus

Twenty-one years ago

It’s warmer in the barn Here in the corner, nestled in the hay, it’s far warmer than it is outside More importantly, in this back corner, there’s not a place for the brutal wind to slip in The tips of ers could just as well be pieces of ice tucked under my chin as I hunker down in the hay It s than anything I’ve felt in days By the looks of it, there hasn’t been a soul here in quite some time

I spent the past three nights outside Last night I dug into the ground to try to hide froh my tattered clothes The hard earth was like a brick of clay and it took far too h It helped, but my throat is sore, etI’ has to give

Late fall in the northeast turns frigid sooner than most cities My teacher used to refer to all the backwoods towns off the highway outside of New York City as Podunk So that’s what I’ve been calling them all, the Podunk towns I don’t even knohere I am other than somewhere deep in the woods but to the left of the farms It’s open fields out there, wide open with nowhere to hide

This barn looks abandoned, a lonely decrepit place, and perfect for one night Just one night to closeI don’t kno far I’ll run, but he told me his home was past the Podunk towns and that’s where mine used to be … if only I can find it

When I close nore the set the worst parts and only think about the stories he told ood ones about histo find us and save us I remember how sure he henever he said ere safe It was the only way I could sleep although I would have never admitted that to hi him, not the other way around Safety surrounds h ainst the barn wood, begging ive in to much-needed sleep

EveryEven worse so because I ran up the mountain and into the thick, dense forest when I heard the cars coain Each little cut stings and seems to sear the memories into my skin with every sood ones he told The ones that alet where ere

Sleep nearly takes me … almost there

Until a sudden creak forcesto a man pry open the doors of the barn

Delilah

My father always told ut He also said when someone shows you who they are, believe them It’s always made sense to ave me that piece of advice until now, I’ve lived by that motto

Right now, though, as I stare into Cody’s eyes, listening to hi he does about the cold cases and about Marcus, I doubtThe er stares back at me

I findto in to process how much it hurts Of everyone I’ve worked with to solve these cases, I trusted hiht now, I question everything

Men have secrets, ht she was the crazy one Now I’ if I inherited that trait as well

“I’aze back to his “You’re worked up and I don’t bla I know that you don’t” His voice is cal, but his eyes are flat and devoid of commitment It’s like they want