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I was confused
At least, I re confused
Being called away fro The office is where he conducts business I have been there before, but it is no place for a girl like me, or so he says
The hall soer than it ever has before I walk it not knohat to expect, clutching htly
Have I done so? Why did he sound so tense on the phone?
My feet shuffle forward I s hard, looking down at my shoes My shoelace is undone
He won’t like that
I stop where I aers throughmy hands over the skirt ofcareful not to mark them
My father didn’t raise a pack of anientleman
My siblings and I pride ourselves on being everything race and humility, I’m sure
At eighteen, I know my place My place is to make my father happy And I do
At least, I think I do So far, there have been no complaints
I study hard totoo er sisters with love and care,them into the ladies they should be Even I have to admit I’m a decent person, and I love my family
There are six of us in total In order of age, there’s Miguel who is twenty-four, myself, Veronica who is sixteen, Carmen who is fifteen, Patricia who is thirteen, and Rosa who is only nine She was the last of us, born only a year before Mama died I know Rosa doesn’t remember her I also know it hurts her She has photos like the rest of us do, but it’s not enough
My mother’s name was Dorina, affectionately known as Dori to anyone she liked Shearound, playing on the street He threw dirt in her face Instead of crying like the other girls had, she’d simply stood and shook the dirt off her She walked home that day and told her marandirl She explained, “Oh, gatito, boys are funny in the way they do things And the worse they treat a girl usually means the more they like them”
Mama heard this and was set
She was going to marry that boy
Fourteen years later, Mama becath of my mother’s life She was the only woh He loved her so much that when she died, he mourned And it scared the crap out of me
My father is a reasonableperiod He became colder, more closed off He started to shut us out
The only person who can uel
As I reach the office door, I knock lightly with a shaking hand
“Come in,” calls a familiar voice
My brother? My body turns rigid What is he doing here? He shouldn’t be here
Pushing the door open, I step inside and quietly close the door behind me I walk to stand in front of the desk my father sits at, but look up at my brother, who stands emotionless behind ood Papa holds a hand at his forehead He has yet to acknowledge me I spare a sweet smile for uel catches etic
He looks like he’s about to cry
It’s here I’d like to note that the men in my family don’t cry
When my father lifts his face,there I haven’t seen before So
I know Papa isn’t a good ood to us He’s a fa for us
He would kill for us
In fact, I know he has
I clearokay?”
Surprised at my own ability to hide the quiver inmy calm My father looks ed since Mama died The lines in his tanned face have deepened so much that he looks ten years older than his fifty years The dark skin under his eyes seeh lines around his eyes… they’re gone
I suppose he doesn’t use theone, he has no one to h
“Alejandra” He h voice commands, “Sit”
I don’t want to sit
I want to run
I look tothe chair I s hard,in time with my steps till I finally seat myself
Papa sighs then stands He paces “I have called you here today to discuss so of importance I’m afraid we need to discuss this rather quickly There isn’t much time”
My brother’s warm brown eyes darken a shade I see him bite the inside of his cheek His face turns a deep shade of red and the vein at his teh he’s about to snap
The sight causes ice-cold fear to coil deep in entleman, patient and controlled
My heart races So here
Not sure what to say, I nod once to let hi He continues, “Grave tih to be your own people any his pal toward me “There is a time in every person’s life where sacrifices ood Understand?”
I nod I do understand I understand that my father spends a lot of tiood life we have This is his sacrifice, and he makes it without complaint
I appreciate what he does for us, not that I know for sure what he does It’s not my business I’m just a woman
His lips curve in what I’riirl I’m so lucky to have you”
My heart bea away some of the frozen fear inside me It warms me to my very toes But my brother’s fists ball so hard that his knuckles turn white Miguel hisses behind my father, “Tell her”
Papa’s feeble saround the desk, e of it and takes ently with the other As a girl, this waseyes while he spoke about this and that, it never reallyabout, only that his attention ar
But then he drops a bo to marry Dino, son of Vito Gambino”
He says this without feeling, without reaction, without emotion
My grip on his hand weakens, but he holds it firm In support? I don’t know The blood drains fro shallows