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One

MAJOR PALGRAVE TELLS A STORY

“Take all this business about Kenya,” said Major Palgrave

“Lots of chaps gabbing aho know nothing about the place! Now I spent fourteen years of my life there Some of the best years of my life, too—”

Old Miss Marple inclined her head

It was a gentle gesture of courtesy Whilst Major Palgrave proceeded with the so recollections of a lifetihts It was a routine hich she ell acquainted The locale varied In the past, it had been predominantly India Majors, Colonels, Lieutenant-Generals—and a faers Chota Hazri—Tiffin Khithtly different Safari Kikuyu Elephants Swahili But the pattern was essentially the same An elderly man who needed a listener so that he could, in memory, relive days in which he had been happy Days when his back had been straight, his eyesight keen, his hearing acute Some of these talkers had been handsorettably unattractive; and Major Palgrave, purple of face, with a glass eye, and the general appearance of a stuffed frog, belonged in the latter category

Miss Marple had bestowed on all of the her head frohts and enjoying what there was to enjoy: in this case the deep blue of a Caribbean Sea

So kind of dear Rayratefully, so really and truly kind … Why he should take so much trouble about his old aunt, she really did not know Conscience, perhaps; fa? Or possibly he was truly fond of her…

She thought, on the whole, that he was fond of her—he always had been—in a slightly exasperated and conte her books to read Modern novels So difficult—all about such unpleasant people, doing such very odd things and not, apparently, even enjoying them “Sex” as a word had not beendays; but there had been plenty of it—not talked about so much—but enjoyed far h usually labelled Sin, she couldn’t help feeling that that was preferable to what it seemed to be nowadays—a kind of Duty

Her glance strayed for a e twenty-three which was as far as she had got (and indeed as far as she felt like getting!)

“‘Do you mean that you’ve had no sexual experience at ALL?’ de man incredulously ‘At nineteen? But you must It’s vital’

“The girl hung her head unhappily, her straight greasy hair fell forward over her face

“‘I know,’ she muttered, ‘I know’

“He looked at her, stained old jersey, the bare feet, the dirty toe nails, the sly attractive”

Miss Marple wondered too! And really! To have sex experience urged on you exactly as though it was an iron tonic! Poor young things…

“My dear Aunt Jane, why htful ostrich? All bound up in this idyllic rural life of yours REAL LIFE—that’s what matters”

Thus Raymond—and his Aunt Jane—had looked properly abashed—and said “Yes,” she was afraid she was rather old-fashioned

Though really rural life was far fronorant In the course of her duties in a country parish, Jane Marple had acquired quite a coe of the facts of rural life She had no urge to talk about them, far less to write about them—but she knew them Plenty of sex, natural and unnatural Rape, incest, perversion of all kinds (So men from Oxford rote books didn’t seem to have heard about)

Miss Marple came back to the Caribbean and took up the thread of what Major Palgrave was saying…

“A very unusual experience,” she said encouragingly “Most interesting”

“I could tell you a lot s, of course, not fit for a lady’s ears—”

With the ease of long practice, Miss Marple dropped her eyelids in a fluttery fashion, and Major Palgrave continued his bowdlerized version of tribal custohts of her affectionate nephew

Raye income, and he conscientiously and kindly did all he could to alleviate the life of his elderly aunt The preceding winter she had had a bad go of pneumonia, and medical opinion had advised sunshine In lordly fashion Rayested a trip to the West Indies Miss Marple had demurred—at the expense, the distance, the difficulties of travel, and at abandoning her house in St Mary Mead Ray a book wanted a quiet place in the country “He’ll look after the house all right He’s very house proud He’s a queer I mean—”

He had paused, slightly embarrassed—but surely even dear old Aunt Jane must have heard of queers

He went on to deal with the next points Travel was nothing nowadays She would go by air—another friend, Diana Horrocks, was going out to Trinidad and would see Aunt Jane was all right as far as there, and at St Honoré she would stay at the Golden Palm Hotel which was run by the Sandersons Nicest couple in the world They’d see she was all right He’d write to theht away

As it happened the Sandersons had returned to England But their successors, the Kendals, had been very nice and friendly and had assured Raymond that he need have no qualood doctor on the island in case of eency and they themselves would keep an eye on her and see to her comfort

They had been as good as their word, too Molly Kendal was an ingenuous blonde of twenty odd, always apparently in good spirits She had greeted the old lady war to make her comfortable Tim Kendal, her husband, lean, dark and in his thirties, had also been kindness itself

So there she was, thought Miss Marple, far froalow of her oith friendly sirls to wait on her, Ti room and crack a joke as he advised her about the day’s menu, and an eas

y path fro beach where she could sit in a co There were even a few elderly guests for company Old Mr Rafiel, Dr Graham, Canon Prescott and his sister, and her present cavalier Major Palgrave

What more could an elderly lady want?

It is deeply to be regretted, and Miss Marple felt guilty even adht to be

Lovely and warood for her rheuh perhaps—a triflethe sa Not like St Mary Mead where so Her nephew had once compared life in St Mary Mead to scunantly pointed out that smeared on a slide under the microscope there would be plenty of life to be observed Yes, indeed, in St Mary Mead, there was always soh Miss Marple’s h ate—the tiy Wood’s mother had come down to see him—(but was she his mother—?) the real cause of the quarrel between Joe Arden and his wife Sorise to endless pleasurable hours of speculation If only there were soet her teeth into

With a start she realized that Major Palgrave had abandoned Kenya for the North West Frontier and was relating his experiences as a subaltern Unfortunately he was asking her with great earnestness: “Now don’t you agree?”

Long practice hadwith that one

“I don’t really feel that I’ve got sufficient experience to judge I’m afraid I’ve led rather a sheltered life”

“And so you should, dear lady, so you should,” cried Major Palgrave gallantly

“You’ve had such a very varied life,” went on Miss Marple, determined to make amends for her former pleasurable inattention

“Not bad,” said Major Palgrave, complacently “Not bad at all” He looked round him appreciatively “Lovely place, this”

“Yes, indeed,” said Miss Marple and was then unable to stop herself going on: “Does anything ever happen here, I wonder?”

Major Palgrave stared

“Oh rather Plenty of scandals—eh what? Why, I could tell you—”

But it wasn’t really scandals Miss Marple wanted Nothing to get your teeth into in scandals nowadays Justattention to it, instead of trying decently to hush it up and be properly ashamed of themselves

“There was even a o Man called Harry Western Made a big splash in the papers Dare say you remember it”

Miss Marple nodded without enthusias splash mainly because everyone concerned had been very rich It had seeh that Harry Western had shot the Count de Ferrari, his wife’s lover, and equally likely that his well-arranged alibi had been bought and paid for Everyone see of dope addicts Not really interesting people, thought Miss Marple—although no doubt very spectacular and attractive to look at But definitely not her cup of tea