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My parents taketo die I should have suspected so to Bolero That should have been a red flag, with glitter and flashing neon lights on it Bolero wasn't the kind of place we'd go if there wasn't a reason or a special occasion

“We have so the sa to have a sibling, or your grando to Disney World after all Any one of those things would be better than this

I poke at us with hollandaise whileto be fine, when really the world is falling apart My fork scrapes against the china of the plate and the sound makes my teeth hurt

I look up to make sure the restaurant hasn't collapsed around us Destroyed in some apocalyptic earthquake Instead, there are tables of people s not to spill anything on the white tablecloths Two tables away, a teenage boy steals a kiss froirl They can't be lass and he catches it before it tips over I wish I was her I wish I was anyone else

“We're going to take things one day at a time Treasure each moment” My mother is full of quotes that she dispenses like a pharmacist hands out pills A penny saved is a penny earned, knowledge talks; wisdoht a candle than curse in the darkness She has one for every situation, even this one

“It is always darkest before the dawn,” she says

She reaches across the table forit a squeeze I try to sh to try I look down again atto throw it across the room I want to cry, to scream, to toss the table over and destroy the entire place Set it on fire and watch it burn I will never be able to eat here again, that's for sure

“We don't have an exact ti to be about six , and I'll get to see my tulips bloom one more time” She winks at Dad I want to scream at her

“But what about –" My father puts his hand on lare at hiet upset Don't show your weakness Must be strong for her We can't show our cracks for fear that she'll be the one who breaks It's such a load of crap He and I don't mesh Mom is the cream in the middle of the Double Stuff Oreo that is our family

“We've tried all we can, Ava At this point, anything else would doto do now is to enjoy our tiret e can't fix” I clamp my lips down on all the vitriol I want to spit at him He smiles at her and she bea anniversary He brushes so behind her ear It's a shade redder than her real hair, which is a deep brown

“We thought we'd have this one night out as a family and then we can sit down and plan out e'd like to do” Like on the lottery and had all this free time

“I don't care” I useto eat ravioli again without thinking of this My sto down my back Shock, I think distantly

“I'll be right back” My ballet flats slip quickly over the thick carpet of the floor None of the other diners look up at ht to notice ht of their table, I run to the bathroom

The ravioli burns as it comes back up my throat Why did they let me eat and then tell me?

Thankfully, the bathroouht I've worn ood, since it doesn't fall in et reen dress has water spots on it, and I use a paper towel to try and dry them