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THE taxi dropped Airi off just one house over fro she always did just to allow herself a little ti home Five days out of the week she lived in a dor home took some adjustment Sometimes it was absolutely wonderful and other times it ful

She walked slowly, counting her steps Breathing In and out She was able to quiet herwas obnoxious, but she had to give her ned

Wind teased her face Once Twice Like the feeling of f

ingers brushing lightly but persistently over her skin to get her attention She promised herself she wouldn't look, but she couldn't stop the colanced up at the clouds above her head They swirled around, seeether Click Click The patterns fell into place and left her gasping Sick She pressed a hand to her sto to believe what she saw

She was nor eaten alive fro in on itself She refused to believe that could happen Patterns in the clouds, or a lake or even on the walls of their ho else She wanted to believe that, but her body didn't, and it took effort to force one foot in front of the other to proceed up the ay to her home

Music blared Sounds poured out of the s and through every crack Loud, brass, a cacophony of noise that shook the panes and filled her mind until she was afraid it would bleed Her footsteps slowed Music that loud s Her mother'sor any of the other tricks didn't work, she resorted to drinking to self-

Letting out her breath, Airiana reluctantly opened the front door Theher back out of the house

"For God's sake, Airi,on for hours now," Wanda, their neighbor, called "I pounded on the door but she didn't answer--as usual" She paused, her expression turning compassionate "Come over later if you want I'll have dinner You can take some to your mother"

Even the neighbors knew about Marina's drinking How could they not? The music was atrocious, and more often than not, Airi slept outside where it was safe So was really bad, she had to take knives away fro harm to herself Those were the worst times She was careful never to tell anyone, especially where she lived and went to school They would take her away frootten at home

"Thanks, Wanda I'll probably take you up on that" She liked Wanda The woman didn't have a ood to Airi and Marina Although nearly seventeen, Airi still looked twelve Her young looks ht have contributed to Wanda's colad Wanda was close by She had hborhood about four years earlier and Airi was grateful she had She was a friend when tis were really awful and she needed someone safe to talk to

Taking a deep breath, her sto room In spite of the music, the feel of the house was still and ominous, as if she'd just walked onto a horror set She had taken four steps inside when the odor hit Blood Lots of it

"Mo to her throat Her blood roared a warning in her ears She didn't want toback and no going forward Just notHer mother had threatened to kill herself many times, when she was drunk, but Airiana hadn't believed she'd really do it

The house creaked The music blared Her heart slammed a terrible rhythm of dread in her chest She tried not to breathe in the coppery scent She absently waved a hand toward the player, and the music abruptly ceased Air circulated, but it didn't relieve that appalling, frightening odor

Pressing her lips together, she forced herself to walk into the kitchen Dark coffee swirled in another pattern across the cheerful blue and white tiles, looking like a river oflay scattered like white islands through the dark spill A draide open, tipped precariously doard and a chair lay overturned beside the kitchen table Her mother was a neat freak She would never, under any circumstances, have left such a disaster behind, not even if she was very drunk--or suicidal Airi's heart pounded harder than ever

"Moed her voice Fear It was a child's voice seeking reassurance, when lately she'd often had to be the adult

There was no answer She shook her head and forced her feet to move one step at a time down the hallway toward her mother's bedroom She pushed open the door slowly It was empty and as perfectly pristine as herwith the abundance of pillows and sharound that soothed her mind and allowed her to rest

Airi leaned against the wall and closed her eyes The scent of blood was overpowering now Much stronger in the hallway When she turned her head just slightly, she could see a thin line of red leaking out from under the door of her bedrooht, a full flight response, but her feet remained frozen in place She couldn't move She couldn't leave

If her mother was alive in that room, she needed help There had been no bottles of alcohol out on the sink in a single line in the way her ed in to allon when her mind was too chaotic and she needed a respite There had been coffee--coffee--on the floor

Airi bit her lip so hard blood welled up She had to check She couldn't run like a coward to her neighbor's house and beg her to look first Holding her breath, she htly ajar, but she couldn't see inside Very slowly, using her fingertips, she pushed the door open so she could look into her room

She screamed And screamed And screamed Her throat was raw and she felt blood vessels break, but she screa to save her mother--or as left of her