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Mistakes were er but infectious I had just sat on the toilet and was le thought shot past all the rest:

I want out

Maybe it was the photo I had seen on e friends was on vacation yet again, and had posted a shot of the vast Caribbean horizon beyond her sandy, pedicured toes A novel was on her lap, closed to highlight the cover (and, presuhs) The caption noted that a cabana boy had fetched the cocktail she was holding in her free hand

I glanced down at s, which were not soit through enothers Alas—I had failed to make the connection between survival and sunscreen

But my sudden desire to be somewhere else was probably less envy and h the half-inch gap where the bathroom door failed to meet the frame “Mommy! Mom! Maaahhhmaaay!”

“Miles, can I not have one whole minute of peace?” The answer to this wasted breath of a question would remain no for another twelve years and two“Go attempt to wake your father up”

The knob twisted Then the door flung open and there stoodon his narrow hips His face was contorted with aout his older sister “Stevie called me Rumpleforeskin!” he announced

Still perched on the toilet, I turned and tucked h When I had composedto say What do I always tell you about how to respond to someone who’s mean to you?”

He selically “Punch them in the tenders?”

“Sweetheart, if you do that and tell people I told you to, you’re going to end up living with Cookie”

His face ian to cry It was true that my mother-in-law, Riya, who preferred to be identified as a baked good rather than a grandmother, smothered my children to the point of terror when she bothered to see them Still—Miles’ tears were a re borderline personality disorder

“Oh, sweetie, coh the four hundredth time I uttered this advice would be the one that finally stuck “Go pour yourself a bowl of cereal”

“I affles,” he said, sniffling His cheeks, which bore the high color of indignation, were streaked with glossy tear trails I would have pulled hied him, but I hadn’t wiped yet

Instead, Miles stalked off, leaving the door wide open It was just far enough away that I couldn’t close it ers landed on a cardboard roll where paper should have been The basket beside the toilet was empty

I needed soeon, as my children referred to our basement, and retrieve toilet paper

“Miles!” I called “Come back!”

Radio silence

I decided to try hter instead “Stevie!Stevie?”

Still no response I was ready to revert to yodeling empty threats into the hallhen Sanjay appeared He wrinkled his nose “What died?”

Ro this, I reached behindeverywhere Who needed a bidet when you had decades-old pluet me some toilet paper?”

Sanjay shook his head, which had yet to produce a single gray hair At thirty-nine, his stomach was still as flat as the day we met sixteen years earlier His bronze skin was nearly as unlined as it had been then, too Only the dark half- of midlife disappointments “We ran out yesterday”

I stared at him “And you just decided to tell me that now?”