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Fire truck lights dance on the walls of neighbors’ holow beneath the ash, and there’s a crowd surrounding the burned heap that was h the flames are out Can a fire really destroy an entire house that quickly?

I get out ofto put it in park It rolls and hits a row of garbage cans before co to a stop I don’t even care at this point Mymy hair, and I can barely breathe The air reeks of burned wood and I want to throw up

“What the hell happened?” I say to one of the fire froh it’s my property

“Is this your home?” he asks

I want to scream at him Can’t he tell by the look on my face that I’m not just a curious bystander? I’m wrecked and it shows

Instead of snapping at him like I want to, I just say, “Yes”

“Looks like the origin of the fire caed into the wall”

I s hard, tasting bile My stomach twists, on fire, just like h the lining

I nod, unable to speak, as if I were answering a question Did he ask a question? I can’t reht

My neighbors keep glancing atholare at ence I would glare back at them if my face would allow it Instead, I just stare at the destroyed reone

As the last fireet ahold of your insurance company”

Again I nod, and I get on the phone But I don’t call the insurance company I call my best friend

“Alba?” I say weakly when she answers

“What’s wrong?” she says, iround there’s a riot of noise She has a huge family and they all live in one little house

“My house burned down”

Shesound There are footsteps on the other end of the line and the sound of a door closing Suddenly the background noise is just a soft mumble and I know she went into a different roo that happened, about ed in

“Do you have money for a motel?” she asks

She doesn’t offer to let me stay with her I wouldn’t expect it anyway There’s just no room It’s not her house, so it’s not her place to invite me Alba always escaped to my house when she needed quiet time She won’t have that anymore

I’m sure her parents would let me stay if they knew my situation I could sleep on her floor But I’h for everyone already living there I don’t think I could handle all the noise anyway I don’t need any more chaos in my life, and chaos is exactly what I’d be in for if I went to Alba’s house tonight

“Yes,” I lie I don’t have h et paid, which isn’t for another week I’ll have to sleep in ure out what to do about my future tomorrow I’m sure after I talk to et into so temporarily It will all work out in the end I have to believe that or I will completely drown in my sorrow

“Meet et you a piece of pie and we can talk,” she says

Her fareasy spoon don It’s a hole in the wall in a sketchy neighborhood, but the food is to die for Normally, I’d be all over the offer of pie Especially the peach cobbler But right nowdown, and I know if I start talking, I’ll break down I don’t want to cry in a diner full of people

“I’ll take a raincheck on that, okay? I need to get to the ht”

There’s a long pause on the other end, and I know she wants to protest, but she doesn’t and I’rateful for it

“All right Call me if you need me”

“I will, Alba Thank you”

I hang up and look ata pile of overturned trashcans I draga car is a small bit of luck If I had walked to the store like I soht’ve burned up with the house and I would be left with nothing I guess I should be thankful, but instead I feel like shit

I drive around all night looking for a place I will feel safe enough to park for the night At first I try in thelot, but a security officer kicks o to the park and I’o to work instead I have a parking pass that will allowtoay The kid they hired for the security night shift is a nephew

of the store owner and just sits in the back of the building s I just hope none of

Sleeping in , and extreht No et comfortable So I decide to try the back But then the seat belt latch digs into ht despite the poking and prodding My back s are tinted and I’ this way

I’ve just started to doze when the alarh, exhausted Ti will be better today It has to Since I can’t take a shower or put on makeup, I can use the extra tio back to sleep, thinking I reset it, but I didn’t

I wake up an hour later in a panic when I hear a bunch of voices outsideinto the building of the clothing store It’s open! Shit I’m supposed to be in there twenty minutes before they open to put new inventory on the shelves and fold shirts The h it leaves unnatural creases—and it takes forever He’s such a dick I’m in so much trouble and I knoon’t care about ht