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San Francisco, California May 15

IT WOULDN'T STOP, EVER

She couldn't breathe She was dying She sat upright in her bed wheezing, trying to control the terror She turned on the la there No, just shadows that kept the corners dark and frightening But the door was closed She always closed her bedrooainst it so that its back was snug against the doorknob Just for good measure

She stared at that door It didn't move It didn't so much as rattle in its fra to get in

No one this time

She made herself look over toward theShe'd wanted to put bars on all the hen she moved in seven months before, but at the last minute she decided that if she did she would have made herself a prisoner forever Instead she'd switched to the fourth-floor apartment There were two floors above her and no balconies No one could coh theAnd no one would think she was crazy because she lived on the fourth floor It was a goodat holas had lived

The ies were in her mind, always faded, always blurred, but still there and still : bloody, but just beyond her ability to put thee, she couldn't see the beginning or the end of it But there was a light, a narrow focused light, and she heard screaht there on her And there was Belinda, always Belinda

She was still choking on the fear She didn't want to get up, but she o to the bathroom Thank God the bathroom was off the bedroom Thank God she didn't have to unlock the bedroom door, pull the chair back from beneath the knob, and open it onto the dark hallway

She flipped the bathrooht on before she went into the rooht She saw ed with terror She whirled around: It was only herself in the mirror

She stared at her reflection She didn't recognize the o eyes, the sheen of sweat on her forehead, her hair ratty, her sleep shirt damp with perspiration

She leaned close to the mirror She stared at the pathetic woman whose face was still tense with fear She realized in that es the woman in the mirror would die