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Chloe“No, you lunatic! I a those words about my father—ever”

“Oh, corove, teases, setting her chin onit into theyou? And I’ to i full-on ith beady eyes and sharp teeth that can’t be deterred by humans or hella sexy vampires”

I roll my eyes and jerk my shoulder to make her weirdo chin find another home “For the sake of our friendship, you need to stop rereading Twilight”

“It’s not ht Sun and I’ like her words provide a perfect explanation for the fact that she’s read the Twilight series no fewer than fifty times

No joke She’s been reading that series since ere, like, twelve And considering we’re both seventeen—alhteen—now, her obsessive love for a fictional va up

Don’t get ht, but Hailie could stand to read about so mortals every once in a while

“It would do our friendship soood if you fit in a few John Green or Jenny Han books between your Edward Cullen binges”

“Speaking of us talking about my vampire boyfriend and your dad’s penis, do you think Edward’s penis sparkles in the sunlight too? I mean, his skin sparkles, but does his—”

“I don’t care about Edward’s sparkly penis, Hail!” I cut her off on a whisper-yell “And we are not talking aboutto But I a reflex No teenage daughter should be forced to think about her father’s…you knohat

“Okay, fine I’ about your dad’s penis,” she corrects “And you’re the one who never answered my question”

“Because your olf analogy was horrible, and the question was so ridiculous it didn’t deserve a response Saying illicit things about my father’s penis-power, as you so eloquently put it, would do absolutely nothing for me in a chase with a olf”

“Oh geez What is that? What are you doing there? Are you trying to be rational?”