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For Vance

Soive you life So me how to live mine

Sunday, October 28th, 2012 7:29 pm

I stand up and look down at the bed, holdingfrom deep within my throat

I will not cry

I will not cry

Slowly sinking to e of the bed and run ers over the yellow stars poured across the deep blue background of the coin to blur fro my vision

I squeezefistfuls of the blanket My shoulders begin to shake as the sobs I’ve been trying to contain violently break out of me With one swift movement, I stand up, screa it across the room

I ballelse to throw I grab the pillows off the bed and chuck theer knoatch as the girl in thepathetically The weakness in her tears infuriates in to run toward each other until our fists collide against the glass, s the mirror I watch as she falls into a million shiny pieces onto the carpet

I grip the edges of the dresser and push it sideways, letting out another screa When the dresser comes to rest on its back, I rip open the drawers and throw the contents across the roo in rab at the sheer blue curtain panels and yank them until the rod snaps and the curtains fall around h in the corner and, without even knohat’s inside, I take the top one and throw it against the ith as much force as my five foot, three-inch frame can muster

“I hate you!” I cry “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”

I’ whatever I can find in front of me at whatever else I can find in front of me Every time I open my mouth to screa down my cheeks

Holder’s arhtly I become immobile I jerk and toss and screaht out They’re just reactions

“Stop,” he says cal to release me I hear him, but I pretend not to Or I just don’t care I continue to struggle against his grasp but he only tightens his grip

“Don’t touch ain, it doesn’t faze him

Don’t touch me Please, please, please

The small voice echoes in my mind and I immediately becoer, consu

I a him win

Holder loosens his grip around me and places his hands on my shoulders, then turns ainst his chest fro in fistfuls of his shirt as I sob, ainst his heart He places his hand on the back of my head and lowers his mouth to my ear

“Sky” His voice is steady and unaffected “You need to leave Now”

Saturday, August 25th, 2012 11:50 pm

Two months earlier…