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YOU WISH TO KNOW ME?
POSIT YOURSELF AS THE PINPOINT CENTER OF ONE OF YOUR KALEIDOSCOPES, AND GRASP TIME AS THE COLORFUL FRAGMENTS ERUPTING FROM YOU IN A MULTITUDE OF DIMENSIONS THAT CONSTANTLY EXPAND OUTWARD IN AN EVER-WIDENING, EVER-SHIFTING, INFINITE ARRAY SEE THAT YOU CAN CHOOSE AND EXPAND FROM ANY OF THOSE UNCOUNTABLE DIMENSIONS AND THAT, WITH EACH CHOICE, THOSE DIMENSIONS WIDEN AND SHIFT AGAIN INFINITY COMPOUNDED EXPONENTIALLY UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS REALITY: THE FALSE GOD YOUR RACE WORSHIPS WITH SUCH BLIND DEVOTION REALITY IMPLIES A SINGLE POSSIBLE
YOU ACCUSE ME OF ILLUSION YOU—WITH YOUR ABSURD CONSTRUCT OF LINEAR TIME YOU FASHION FOR YOURSELF A PRISON OF WATCHES, CLOCKS, AND CALENDARS YOU RATTLE BARS FORGED OF HOURS AND DAYS, BUT YOU’VE PADLOCKED THE DOOR WITH PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE
PUNY MINDS NEED PUNY CAVES
YOU CANNOT GAZE UPON TIME’S TRUE FACE ANY MORE THAN YOU CAN BEHOLD MINE
TO APPREHEND YOURSELF AS THE CENTER, TO SIMULTANEOUSLY PERCEIVE ALL COMBINATIONS OF ALL POSSIBLES, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO MOVE IN ANY DIRECTION—“DIRECTION” BEING A VERY LIMITED METHOD OF ATTEMPTING TO CONVEY A CONCEPT FOR WHICH YOUR RACE HAS NO WORD—THAT IS WHAT IT IS TO BE ME
—CONVERSATIONS WITH THE SINSAR DUBH
1
Hope strengthens Fear kills
Someone really smart told me that once
Every ti wiser,into a situation thatis swapping one set of delusions for a more elaborate, attractive set of delusions—that’s me, the Queen of Self-Deception
I hate ht possible
I squat on the cliff’s edge, screaical mother had drowned me at birth Life is too hard, too much to handle Nobody told me there’d be days like these How could nobody tell row up like that—happy and pink and stupid?
The pain I feel is worse than anything the Sinsar Dubh has ever done tome, I know it’s not my own fault
This moment?
Mea culpa Beginning to end, all the way, I own this one, and there will never be any hiding from that fact
I thought I’d lost everything
How ignorant I was He warned me I had so much more to lose!
I want to die