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ONE

"Don't get it, " I said as I heard the ringtone of our apart about that sound severed every coed to stitch around myself

"It's a 281 nu in a can of organic toan, which round beef in our chili It was enough to make any native-born Texan cry, but for Dane's sake I was trying to get used to it "I can see it on the caller ID"

281 Houston Those three digits were enough to start"It's either my mother or my sister," I said desperately "Let the machine pick up" I hadn't spoken to either of them in at least two years

Ring

Pausing in the act of stirring a handful of frozen veggie crumbles into the sauce, Dane said, "You can't run away from your fears Isn't that what you always tell your readers? "

I was an advice coluazine about relationships and sex and urban culture My column, called "Ask Miss Independent," had started at a student-run publication, and I had quickly developed a following Upon graduating, I'd taken Miss Independent to Vibe, and they offered me a weekly feature Most of my advice was posted publicly, but I also sent private paid-for replies to those who requested it To supple for woazines

"I' away from my relatives"

Ring

"Just pick it up, Ella You always tell people to face their problems"

"Yes, but I prefer to ignore mine and let thenized the number "Oh God It's Mom"

Ring

"Go on," Dane said "What's the worst that could happen?"

I stared at the phone with fearful loathing "In the space of thirty seconds, she could say so that would send me back to therapy indefinitely"

Ring

"If you don't find out what she wants," Dane said, "you'll worry about it all night"

I let out an explosive breath and snatched up the phone "Hello?"

"Ella This is an eency!"

To ency She was a shock-and-awe parent, the ultimate drama queen But she had covered it up so adeptly that few people suspected ent on behind closed doors She had dehters' collusion in the iven it to her without question

At tier sister and me, but she quickly becan that would indicate the fluctuations of herto stay close to the twister without getting swept up in it

I headed to the living room, away frooing on?"

"I just told you An eency! Tara ca She has a baby"

"Her own baby?"

"What would she be doing with someone else's baby? Yes, it's hers You didn't know she was pregnant? "

"No," Ifor the back of the sofa I proppedI felt sick to my stomach "I didn't We haven't been in touch"

"When was the last tiht about either of us, Ella? Your only family? Do we have any place on your list of priorities?"

I was strucklike a dryer full of wet sneakers as an awful-fa froer a child Reree, a career, a steady boyfriend, and a circle of good friends, I ed to answer calmly, "I sent cards"

"They weren't sincere That last Mother's Day card didn't say one word about all the things I did for you while you were growing up All the happy times"

I clasped my hand to my forehead in the hopes that it would keep"Mom, is Tara there now?"

"Would I be calling you if she was? She—" My round "Can you hear what I'one! What am I supposed to do?"

"Did she say when she was co back?"

"No"

"And there was no guy with her? Did she say who the father was? "

"I don't think she knows She has ruined her life, Ella No man will ever want her after this"

"You ht be surprised," I said "A lot of unmarried women have babies nowadays"

"There's still a stig to you and Tara"

"After your last husband," I said, "I think ould have preferred the stigma"

Her tone turned icy "Roger was a good e would have lasted if you and Tara had ever learned to get along with him It wasn't irls, and you never gave him a chance"

I rolled er loved us a little too much, Mom"

"What do you mean?"

"We had to sleep with a chair wedged against the door to keep hiht And I don't think he was planning to straighten our covers"

"That's all in your own s like that, Ella"

"Tara believes me"

"She doesn't reer,"at all"

"Does that strike you as nore episodes of your childhood blocked out co about Roger?"