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Prologue

My fantasies always beginnormally Whatever normal is

Thefeatures a sexy scene: a man and woman in a clinch, their lips silhouettes that alton coh Jackazine The usual things get uess

So then I’m in my boyfriend’s bed (when I have a boyfriend) or alone between the sheets, or in the shohen I don’t) I closebetweenether, without narrative or eues and lips, cock and cunt, the heat of skin on skin Usually I start to ood

But no ets, no ue is, or how constant ets me off

Only one fantasy does that

I try not to think about it I tellA lot of ti to be this good at faking it

When I’et off so bad that I can’t take it anyo there

In my mind, ropes wind around my wrists, my ankles Or I’m rolled onto my stomach, hands pinned behind my back Sometimes I’ down on a guy, I ask hi that he’sine hi, Whore Suck it, you cunt

I don’t get off unless I’ raped

Soainst a wall at a party, or taking advantage when I’led Or in a ditch on my hands and knees

At least I don’t fantasize about weapons at my throat, or pointed at my head Not yet, anyway

I hate this about e so many times; I’ve always failed While I wish I could say I don’t knohy I’m wired this wayI do

Maybe it doesn’t matter Lots of people have sexual fantasies they’d never act on, whether they’re violent or perverse, silly or flat-out biologically impossible If it’s all in my head, and it makes me come, what’s the harm?