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PROLOGUE

It happens sometimes that you accidentally star in a little public perforedy, or melodrama

You’re running for yourjauntily, when you trip and turound-style to the footpath You’re trapped in the heavy-breathing silence of a crowded elevator when your lover says so (What did you just say?), or your child asks a rather delicate question, or your s You’re shuffling past a row of knees in the cineht of the previehen you tip your popcorn into a stranger’s lap You’re having one of those days of accuue violently with someone in a position of power: a bank teller, a dry cleaner, a three-year-old

You either ignore your silently grinning spectators, glower at theht even give a little bow! It doesn’t really matter much what you do, because you have no control over your role in the a; if it suits thenity

It happened to three woht in Sydney (Actually, it had been happening to them all their lives, but this time their performance was especially spectacular)

The setting was a busy seafood restaurant endorsed as “full of surprises” by Sydney’s Good Food Guide, and their audience excluded only those suffering froood manners Everyone else witnessed the entire shoith co-eyed enjoyment

Within hours this little incident was being described and reenacted for the pleasure of baby-sitters, roo at home By early the next day at least a dozen versions of the story were doing the rounds of office cubicles and coffee shops, pubs and preschools So; many were censored, a feere spiced up

Of course, no tere the same

The Birthday Brawl

Last night? Eventful

No mate, not that sort of eventful The blind date was a disaster

It wasn’t too soon after Sarah, I told you, I’et back out there The proble to hear someone on a bad line

I’ picky, I can’t hear the woman! There’s a limit to how many tiets bloody aard All night I was leaning halfway across the table, squintingAt one point, I chuckled appreciatively at what I thought was a punch line and the poor girl looked horrified

She could be really nice She just needs someone with better ears Preferably bionic ones

But forget about the date I’m sure she has Actually, I’m sure she hasn’t because as I say, it was…eventful

The restaurant was jaht next to three woister the skills The first ti strap tangled around her chair

Yep Nice-looking Although, I did have a preference for—but I’ ahead of myself

So, at first these three girls were having a great ti louder and louder Each tihed, my date and I smiled sadly at each other

About eleven o’clock, we cheered up because the end was in sight We got the dessert est we share the blueberry cheesecake Obviously I didn’t co sweet tooth What is it o desserts? It makes them so happy