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Prologue
The blackness tried to shole, kill us, ruin us, capture our soul
“I’ youyou because it’s the evolution of a relationship I’ you so I have claim on you forever Your soul will be mine for eternity In sickness and in health, in life and in death, you will belong toto you”
Q broughthis passion into my mouth “Don’t think this is a contract between two people in love Don’t think this legal docuthat I ahtness,your naer Tess Snow”
“What a his feather-soft kiss
“You’re Tess Mercer Now and for always Forever and ever It’s done”
Chapter One
But our demons didn’t play ith others, the beast broke free to make them suffer
“Do it, puta Kill her”
“No! Stop this I’m done No more—”
“Yes,eyes close, we’re waiting Every ti you into insanity”
It’s not real It’s not real
No matter how many times I screamed the truth, the dream would never freethe sanctity of Q’s presence, yanking me into the depths of despair
“Please don’t hurt el moaned
I didn’t want to I never wanted to hurt another living thing again
“Don’t think about disobeying, puta You knohat happens” Leather Jacket flickered into two monstrosities: one moment the man I knew—the man who’d tortured, hit, and tauntedcarnivorous Jackal who’d raped Blonde Angel only minutes before Q found me
The s around me with sickly ware by ches made me become them
“Do it, precious Otherwise I’ll do so worse,” Leather Jacket cooed
My heart sank into the depths of ht they shattered et Every night they reminded me that pain was atrocious Pain was the devil Pain was horrendous and terrible and cruel
Pain
My nemesis
My burden
I shook el Our eyes met—just like hundreds of tirief, ies
But it made no difference
Just like the drugs made me incapacitated in Rio, the dream had power over ave into the inevitable I wouldn’t wake until I killed her
A heavy crowbar rested in my sweat-slippery hands I tried to scuttle backward but soainst ainstuntil my throat rivered with blood and rawness
Mildew and reeking rubbish clouded h I kneasn’t real The only scent I should inhale was the co beside me
TheThe ht my mind in slumber?
Simple He couldn’t
Every night was the saht, and I fought to stop drea
Once the nightet free until the horrible conclusion It happened differently every time Sometimes by bullet Someti murder was the only way to hurtle me back to consciousness
If I concentrated hard enough I could feel him If I squeezed my eyes and searched for the tether toquietly and serene My body eat-dewed and thrashing in tangled sheets;slap as Q tried to rouse me
More pain
Pain on top of pain
It all had to stop, before I went mad
“Little girl, I won’t ask again,” Leather Jacket sneered
The croas no longer heavy inthe weapon, high and deadly
No No, no, no Not again
Close your eyes Don’t look Don’t fill your
Blonde Angel crawled backward, cradling her already broken wrist and knee Her mouth twisted into pleas “Don’t Please don’t Haven’t you done enough? You killed her! You killed the other girl Do you have no lass Her blonde hair no longer shone like gold but hung in bloody clumps
“I’m sorry!”
My heart-filled apology only made her snarl “No, you’re not You’re one of the the other blonde sodemon spawn”
My lungs suffocated with her hatred, drowning in sorrow The crowbar swung above my head, controlled by the puppeteer of this horrible dream
“That’s it, pretty girl Do it What’s another life? You obeyed so brilliantly before Every night you fking ht you come back to us”
The ed me, sold me, and ultimately broken me, appeared from dream-mist White Man looked suave and immaculate in a white shiny suit His feral touch landed onme prisoner “You’ll never be free of us We took your htered my men and whisked you away to safety, but you know the truth” Hispastme retch
Breathing hard he pulled away Manic anger glowed in his blue gaze “Tell me the truth”
The truth?
What truth? I didn’t knohat to believe anymore Was my mind so twisted the truth was only visible into deplore pain and horror when really I craved it? Craved to inflict it Craved to kill
Questions and uncertainty sprouted like vile weeds, growing thick and fast, suffocating all reason and clarity
Aé I’m truly the devil
I squeezed ers to latch onto the weak tethering of awareness
Wake up, Tess
Please
“Tell Me” White Man’s breath fannedof candy floss Why did the dear?
Shakingto tell” My ar the crowbar in an unnatural pose I had no control None