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Chapter One

The Present

I a I rip it from my life Not intentionally…not unintentionally either I see one of them now; a survivor of my tainted, acrid love He’s a hundred yards froh old records

Caleb His na open feelings that have long since become scar tissue My heart tries to punch its way out of my chest and all I can do is stand and watch him It has been three years since the last ti to stay away I suck sticky air into s and try to rein in my sloppy emotions

I want to go to him I want to watch the hate surface in his eyes Stupid I start to leave and I am almost across the street and to itation crawls upmy fists I march back to theThis is my side of town How dare he show his face here

His head is bent over a cardboard box of CD‘s and as he turns to look at solimpse of his offbeat nose My heart clenches I still love this boy The realization scares ht I could handle so like this; an impromptu run in I’ve had therapy; I’ve had three years to…

Get over him

Fester in uilt

I muck around inmy back to the o back to that dark place My foot is lifted to step down fro around Miaet two steps, the rain is assaulting the pave my white shirt I back up quickly and huddle underneath the h the strands of rain Just a short run and I’ll be on er's voice interruptsto me

“The sky is red-means trouble”

I spin ondirectly behind me He is closer than what is deemed socially acceptable I make a surprised sound in my throat, and back up a step He is at least a foot taller than I ah not in an attractive way He holds his hands at an odd angle with his fingers tensed and spread apart My eyes are drawn to a et in the center of his forehead

"What?" I shaketo peer over his shoulder to catch a glio in?

“It’s an old sailor’s superstition” He shrugs

I lower uely fa him to screw off, I try to remember where I have seen him before

“I have an u with a plastic handle in the shape of a daisy, “I can walk you to your car”

I look at the sky, which does appear to be a dusky red, and I shiver I want him to leave me alone and I an? The sky is red-get the hell outta here!

I study the chipped polish on my thumbnail and consider his offer I am not one for omens, but he does have a way to keep me dry

“No, thanks,” I say I jerk my head toward the store behind me, and realize I had already made up my mind

“Okay Hurricane’s coain and steps out into the rain, not opening his umbrella

I watch hie for the rest of his body He is truly huge In seconds the rain has sed hier see his silhouette I know hiuy if I had n above the door reads Music Mushroolass and search the aisles for hiht where I left hiae section Even froht furrow in his brow

He can't e I don't know hi

I want him to look up and see me, but he doesn’t Since I don’t want to lurk underneath the awning like a creepster any longer, I gather h the door The air conditioning is icy against s to my left, duck behind it, and I pull out my compact to check my make-up

While I spy on hier to scrub at the s into him look accidental

In front ofin the shape of Bob Marley’s head I look into Bob’s glass eyes and practice a surprised face I aplace

Here goes everything

My heels bite into the linoleuht as well have hired a truly, he doesn’t look up The air conditioner clicks on when I areen strea-it is Caleb’s ses

I aently around his right eye—the one I used to trace withphysical i hi toward hily unaware of it It is truly disgusting to watch

I sidle up next to him and reach for a CD Caleb, oblivious to my presence moves down the alphabetized line of artists I trace his steps and just as I move a few feet behind him,—his body turns in my direction I freeze and there is a brief second when I have the urge to run I grind my heels down and watch as his eyes trace my face like he’s never seen it before, and land on the plastic square inyears, I hear his voice

“Are they any good?”

I feel the shock rush from my heart to my limbs and settle like lead in my stomach

He still speaks with the same diluted British accent I re to hear isn't there So

“Ummm…"

He looks back at my face and his eyes touch each ofthem for the first time

“I’m sorry? I didn’t catch that"

Shit, shit, shit

“Err, they are okay,” I say, shoving the CD back on the rack Seconds of silence flick by I decide he is waiting for me to speak