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Fck Love Tarryn Fisher 14050K 2023-08-29

“You are supposed to be with me”

What words are these? They startleacross the table while our significant others are twenty feet aaiting in line for our food

“You and me,” he says “Not us and them”

I blink at hio back to looking at azine It’s a math journal, because I’m super cool like that

“Helena…” I don’t look up right away I’, everything will change

“Helena” He reaches out and touchessound, and Neil looks over I pretend that I dropped so and reach under the table Under the table are our shoes and legs There is a blue crayon lying at my feet; I pick it up and resurface

Neil is at the front of the line ordering our food, andfor my response, his eyes heavy with burden

“Are you drunk?” I hiss “What the fuck?”

“No,” he says Though he doesn’t look so sure For the first time, I notice the scruff on his face The skin around his eyes is sallow He’s going through so bullshit

“If this is a joke, you’re ht there What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I only have ten minutes, Helena” His eyesbetween our hands

“Ten ,” I say “Did you take sos make you sweat like that? Crack? Heroine?

I want Neil and Della to coo back to normal I spin around to see where they are

“Helena…”

“Stop saying my narabs the crayon, then my hand

“I don’t have much time Let me show you”

He’s sitting very still, but his eyes reht I’ve never seen that look on his face, but since Della’s only been dating him for a few uy He could be a druggie for all I know He turns my hand over so it’s palm up, and I let him I don’t knohy, but I do

He places the crayon in my palm and closes my fist around it

“You have to say it out loud,” he says “Show me, Kit”

“Say it, Helena Please I’m afraid of ill happen if you don’t”