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Carlos

I want to live life on my own teruide uide” is too weak a word “Dictate” is more like it

Mi'amá didn’t ask if I wanted to leave Mexico and move to Colorado to live with h school She ood”— her words, not mine When the rest of mi familia backed her up, it was a done deal

Do they really think sendingup six feet under or in jail? Ever since I got fired froo, I’ve lived la vida loca Nothing is ever gonna change that

I look out the smallas the plane soars above the snowcapped Rockies I’o anyo, either, where I lived my entire life beforemy sophomore year

When the plane lands, I watch other passengers scraet off I hold back and let this whole situation sink in I’m about to see my brother for the first time in almost two years Hell, I’m not even sure I want to see him

The plane is alrab e clai for nize hiers instead of fa brotherhis face is as faet a little satisfaction that I’ like that scrawny kid he left behind

“Ya estás en Colorado,” he says as he pulls

When he releases me, I notice faint scars above his eyebrows and by his ears that weren’t there the last tiuarded look he always carried around with him like a shield I think I inherited that shield

“Gracias,” I say flatly He knows I don’t want to be here Uncle Julio stayed at my side until he forced me on the plane And then threatened to stay at the airport until he knew round

“You relish?” e claim

I roll my eyes “We only lived in Mexico two years, Alex Or should I say, me, Mamá, and Luis moved to Mexico You ditched us ”

“I didn’t ditch you I’e so I can actually do somethin’ productive with my life You should try it sometime ”

“No, thanks I like my unproductive life just fine ”

I grab my duffel off the carousel and follow Alex out of the airport

“Why are you wearin’ that around your neck?” my brother asks me

“It’s a rosary,” I answer, fingering the black-and-white beaded cross “I turned religious since I saw you last ”

“Religious,symbol,” he says as we reach a silver Beein’ car like that; he irlfriend, Brittany

“So what if it is?” Alex was in a gang back in Chicago Mi papá was a gang me a badass isby the rules I never complained when Iafter school After I got canned and started running with the Guerreros del barrio, I ht have been dirty money, but it kept food on our table

“Didn’t you learn anything from my mistakes?” he asks

Shit, when Alex was in the Latino Blood back in Chicago I worshipped him “You don’t want to hear my answer to that ”

Shaking his head in frustration, Alex grabs my duffel out of ot jumped out of the Latino Blood? He’ll wear his tattoos the rest of his life Whether he wants to believe it or not, he’ll always be associated with the LB whether he’s active in the gang or not

I take a long look at ed; I sensed it froht look like Alex Fuentes, but I can tell he’s lost that fighting spirit he once possessed Now that he’s in college, he thinks he can play by the rules andhow quickly he’s forgotten that not too long ago we lived in the sluo suburbs Some parts of the world can’t shine, no matter how much you try and polish off the dirt

“¿Y Mamá?” Alex asks

“She’s fine ”

“And Luis?”

“The same Our little brother is alonna be an astronaut like José Hernández ”

Alex nods like a proud papa, and I think he really does believe Luis can live his dream The two of them are delusionalboth my brothers are drea cures for diseases and Luis thinks he can leave the world to explore new ones

As we turn onto the highway, I see a wall of h terrain in Mexico

“It’s called the Front Range,” Alex tells me “The university is at the base of the mountains ” He points off to the left “Those are the Flatirons, ’cause the rocks are flat like ironing boards I’ll take you there soet away from campus ”

When he glances at ot two heads

“What?” he asks

Is he kidding?—¿Me está to who you are and what the hell you did with my brother My brother Alex used to be a rebel, and now he’s talkin’ about irlfriend ”

“You’d rather I talked about getting drunk and fucked up?”

“Yes!” I say, acting like I’et drunk and fucked up, ’cause I won’t last long if I don’t get soal substance in my systes, so I ht as well play the part