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CHAPTER 1

Strange drealed up in olderis so convoluted that I don’t knohat’s real Tih I knoas throbbing a fewto ht They look exactly the saold cross around her neck The light catches it, and it grows brighter

The scene shifts There’s no floor or walls Only darkness I blink over and over again, trying to focus on so at me When my eyes adjust, I can see the outline of a faaze meets mine from across the room My heart thumps hard I want to walk to hi He stands there like a ghost, flickering in and out of focus The haunted expression I’ve seen so many tis that he wants to say, but he doesn’t move He doesn’t try to come to me

I don’t kno long it lasts It feels painful Neither of us can s to say, but neither of us speaks The silence is deafening Then he walks toward me

Sean’s voice is a whisper of music It’s too soft to be heard, but I hear it His hand strokeswords fall from his lips I love you, Avery I’m so sorry I never told you

Sean’s touch lingers, and then he slowly steps away The inky blackness engulfs hi happens for a long time

Then, rows colder Sweat drips down my spine and soaks my hair A bead trickles down my cheek and I wipe it away I try to suck in air, but find I can’t breathe I panic The floor is gone and I’, suddenly sucked into a black hole I’m breathless My storab hold of so My mouth is open I scream, and hear an echo that sounds too far away

Suddenly, I feelme Panic has

“Whoa,” ame My head throbs and the room spins The hand pushes me back down I freak out and yelp

“Damn, Avery You’re all sorts of messed up Stay still It’s just Marty andI can’t focus on her face

I stretch ers and feel the IV in my hand The tape itches My eyes feel like they’re stitched together II groan and coverto s settle I feel like I’ed out of my mind I wonder if Marty and Mel are real or if I’ht ahead Mel is at the foot of my bed I sweep my eyes across the room Marty is next to me in a chair I’m not in the same room I fell asleep in

My brain wakes up and shakes off Panic is prodding it to function faster and piece things together Frantic thoughts fly through my mind like an out of control kaleidoscope

They admitted me? I can’t be here I can’t afford this Anxiety rises up fro If I can’t pay these bills, I’ll have to declare bankruptcy If I declare bankruptcy, then I can’t get a job when I graduate, whichI did to stay in college will be wiped out

I coh so to kill me My voice sounds like a screech, “I can’t be here I can’t—” I start coughing and can’t stop My mouth and throat are so dry My lips are bloody and cracked in the corners I’d kill soht now

“Shhh, Avery Everything will be fine,” Marty says, and hands rateful, and sip I keep clearingto s After a moment, he asks, “Better?”

I nod and hand him back the cup My hands shake There’s another question that I’ve been dreading to ask, but I need to know The drea by my parents, not unless he’s dead I want to curl into a ball and cry

I e, “Where is Sean?” Mel looks at Marty, but neither of the “TellWhere is he?”

Marty looks down at ently “We’re not sure They ht after they uy that was in a uessing that was Sean, but no one will tell us anything

“Mel grabbed your chart when nobody was looking and wrote down that she was your next of kin, otherwise they wouldn’t have even let us in to see you”

Mel snorts “Yeah, they didn’t believe ere sisters I told theh, I got tiht Marty up I think I scared that little blonde nurse you had last night”

Marty laughs “Yeah, she thinks we’re in a gang or so”

“A gay gang That’ll do wonders for my reputation” Mel sits down on a chair and looks so sullen, so sorry She blinks away all her sass and for abut worried “Seriously, Avery, are you all right? Do you hurt? You want more pain meds?”

I shake ave towith me? Why was I admitted? I have no insurance I can’t possibly pay for this” My heart starts pounding again

Marty sits back in his chair He presses his fingers together “I think you’re here under observation They said you hit your head pretty hard They ran a bunch of tests last night and are still waiting on some of the results Don’t worry They’ll throw your ass out as soon as possible”

Mel sighs and says, “Black was here Gabe or Blade or whatever the hell his na room to see if you wake up”